To Be or Not To Be...

New Year resolutions have always been a piece of cake. It was always one of the three
1. Getting good grades in skool and trying 2 top the class (though that never happened)
2. Swearing off sinful chocolates and gooey ice-creams and cheesy pizzas
3. Or getting a guy before the year ended…
But then this year it’s different. I have been contemplating this since some time now. Ayee reprimanding, “SHIPRA U ARE ** YEARS OLD!!! (A lady never discloses her real age :p) BEHAVE YOUR AGE!!!!!! Friends calling me a goof up…!!! I really admire people who have decided they are a li’l…umm…eccentric( I mean weirdos and screw ups) and taking it in their stride. Or people who know they are…er..… staid.( not implying dull…just grave) They are cool bout it. But this is one thing I can’t seem to decide on. I am a li’l of this and a li’l of that. A little loony and a little sane. A bit funny and slight grave. Have my moments when I put my both my feet in my mouth and there are times I give mind boggling philosophy ( wrt my previous blog post) Now here is the problem area . When im slapstick, well…I A-M slapstick. But then when I am serious…people don’t take me seriously!!!! And im not sure if I am offended. But I deffy don’t like it… Because I WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY when I’m serious that is.
People call me a kid and want to pat my head and pull my cheeks. (That mite be because of lack of sticking to my resolutions all those years—referring to sinful chocolates n ice creams) but then my behavior doesn’t help either. So then finally I decided enough is enough!! And voila…my this year’s resolution: BEHAVING MY AGE!!! Its gonna be tough not to make faces and stick out my tongue at people’s back (well I don’t really do that…but it gels well with the flow :P) But then the other day me n a friend were having a conversation about making a choice. Either sit in the passenger seat and be unbothered or be on the driver’s seat and be ready to look under the bonnet when trouble strikes. I admit im the passenger seat kinda person being unbothered by things taking them in my stride more often than not. Now you would ask what then is my problem since I already know I am a li’l of both. But then when I really want my space and I ask people to back off…they think it’s my latest antic. And when im serious…as I said earlier…It rankles!!!! I can’t pen them down…people who r like me will empathize.
So here’s my new year’s resolution…being grim and “mature”!!!

(Wait people till you realize me mature is worse than me a goof up :P:P:P)

Versions And Illusions

I have a frd who’s a nature lover. he believes, and its true, that nature is perfect, be it right or be it wrong. it IS perfect in whatever it is. “nature has rules that don’t bend. in nature, other than human beings, everything follows a regular pattern. We as human beings live a life unrestricted and uncontrolled and thats why we see the versions. The versions r an illusion.” Is what he has to say. It might seem clichéd the way he puts it. I thought so too in da beginning. But here’s who really does believe in da fact that truth is right. There IS no versions, no different intensities in what is supposed to be right. Versions exist in the wrong. Says he.
He is a b/w kinda guy. No shades of grey in between. No tolerance for versions. No mercy kinda guy. The point here is there are black and white. As well as colors. i wish id known this when we were talking bout it. Lolz..i actually went 2 da encyclopedia to look up wat is da funda behind colors. Of course we are using the analogy here. Which I do understand. But I think colors come very close when we are talking about the reality of life. I do believe in colors. Different shades, different spectrum, different moods. AND different people having different opinion as to what is right and what is wrong. Circumstances, experiences, the upbringing, the place, the religion all colour the judgment of what is right and what is wrong. Also ideologies are also to be considered.
Co incidentally, white is all reflecting. It is not really a colour. N so is black. It absorbs all. I do know there is some relation here 2 the right/wrong funda but im not sure wat.
There are more colours than a human mind can comprehend. There is more truth than a mere mortal can decipher and so are more false...more wrong. If colours are not illusions, then so are not versions. And so there exist a variation a version on what is right and what is wrong. Lolz…rite now its kinda like my 10th grade maths class. Proper segmentation, step by step logic. In a very presentable form. There is this saying, there is always three versions of any thing: ur version, my version and the right version. So am I being contradictory here? No…im just reciting a phrase I read n liked. Or mayb im and m just not accept it.
How can we discard the theory that there can be versions of right just as there can be versions of wrong. Here always when im writing in the word, right..i invariable write in “truth”. I wonder if there is any connection or is it just da human brain which associates the most commonly associated word like truth=right. No no it’s the oder way round. Right=truth…or sumthing like that…
Phew…thinking is really difficult.
Its like that thing…its just within ur reach, and when u crawl that extra inch..it slithers away. Like a dream and memory. The harder u try 2 grasp, the smokier it gets.

Mood I the last day...

Well , for a very neat and noisy two days...the Final Day left a lot to be desired. it was pretty boring as compared to the other two days. the culmination of Mood I--at least as much as i saw wasnt such a gala event. coz yest we were back very late,we went late aaj. good thing. in retrospect i think we shouldnt have bothered.
Reached IIT for the "Creative Writing" competition. it was a beaut. too bad we didnt wait up for the results...coz i think WE MITE have a chance for da first 3 (wistful thinking). then we went for some workshop on Hairstyling By JAVED HABIB...it SUCKED!!! it was a major disaster. The Crowd was expecting Mr. Habib himself but came his two assistants. (they couldnt speak hindi and their idea o hair olour wasnt the same as the audience) well the issue wasnt them not speaking english but the disaster they had created on the volunteers' hair. but some smartass from NIFT (a volunteer) decided to take matters in HER --didnt i mention it was a sassy gurl??--take matters in her hand!! n boy things got from bad to worse...
then we went to check out the informals and then the fashion show...n we got tired. so we came bak.BTW...the creative writing thing...HERE GOES (the winner ;))
we had to make a prose or a poem from the verses given...there were two...and thr was a picture that was the central theme of the piece. THE PICTURE: the silhouette of a nude woman threading the water. and the verse we chose was,
" I have fled from all and none can now
My way my wanderings see
The waters wildly around me flow
I feel that i am free..."

Hamara write up (hamara as in purva n me)
"Tujse Naaraz nahi Zindagi Hairaan Hoon Main....Hairaan Hoon Main...."
Applause...my classmates, my acquaintances...my friends...The crowd filing out. The Degree in my hand--the open gate...But is THAT the world i want to go to?? Life has always been smooth...But im not content. What have i got? What have i lived? I want more...I want more with life!!!
And that was my moment of truth. Things were always the same but i have changed. (laugh) It was always simmering...ready to come out one day (smile) my restlessness, my want of more. More from me and from my life...My spirit needs more...
I realised i have to fall to be free. i was standing on the brink, the precipite!!!i dont know if it was one of the NOW-Or-NEVER things...That is life isnt it...:) i owed it to myself. I owe it to myself. i had to take the fall. I will take the fall. And...
And....And...!!! I was free. Free!!! It is heady, liberating...exhilerating...ecstasy!!! ...like one feels when the cloud is lifting and the sun shines...??!!! everything is the same yet different. :).
I have fled from all and none can now...
my way my wandering see
The waters wildly around me flow...I feel that i am free
I am not a vagabond...but i wont choose my destiny
I am going to live my life...and :) that life is gonna be... ME!!!

P.s :Second last line is mine...n da last is purva's

Dear Santa...

It really doesnt matter that i havent got a gift from u since...umm....10 years or so...but i remember the last gift u got for me...and the one before that. And the Barbie Doll House that my firends envied...I have been a very good gurl this entire year...including the time when i gave my seat to the old lady in the Virar Local.
So i suppose its only fair that i ask for something nice and have my wish granted. I WANT CHUTTI!!!! from college. U do know that we have lectures all through the Christmas Vacations. Personally i think it sucks...Do something!!! (i know I am cuttin it a bit too close to the time...)
With loadsa love n Tonnes of kissies
Shipra

MOOD I---My Last Year of College Festivals

Went to Mood Indigo 2004 aaj...n man it RAWKED!!!!!! and as usual Miss Shipra Nayak had a ball of a time...along with Purva n Rohini. first we started off with the "POSEIDON Adventure" thats entertainment Quiz for u...( i read it in da brochureof logistics :P) there we had a blast. We thought it would be some english and some hindi stuff and can sail through (purva is hindi filum buff). but alas...with IIT...we SHOULD have expected a twist...it was ROCK HARD CORE!!! n umm..lets say we dont listen much to it. and so...we goofed up. BIG TIME!! n had a gala time doing it...some of the Qs n OUR versions of the answers..(public demand hai :P)
Q: a peom by Greg corso it went...first voice hey,man._____ is dead they got his horn locked up sumwhr put his horn in a corner sumwhr like whrs the horn man where?? then second voice.... screw da horn like where's ____??
A: BULL, COW resp.
Q:Mick Jager fiercely objected to Bebe Buell's liason with _____. "what do u want with the fake Mick," Jagger asked her once, "when u've got the real one?" fill in the blank
A: Mick Jagger look alike..we supps it was obvious!!!???
Q:Whas common in the following songs: Jerry Lee Lewis "great Balls of Fire", Bary McGuire ""Eve of Destruction", Steve Miller "Jet Airliner" and Tom Petty "Free Fallin"
A: We haven't heard of any!!!
these were some of the many bombshells we dropped on the IITians :P. we even thought of dropping in our email ids...if not for da first prize...da BRAINY STUDS OF IIT can contact us for hamara sense of humour.

then from there we went to see the Extempore which let me tell u SUCKED!!! BIG TIME!!!! then we went saw some Marathi Mono Acting and then a couple of Ball Room Dancing. The Marathi thing was super cool. Ballroom thing was okie.
AND THEN!!!!! the highlight of the day!!! NAGESH KUKUNOOR AND AARIF ZAKARIA debating on the issues facing the Indian Cinema like the IPR and originalityand the rip off from films abroad. Frankly half the time i was staring at him rather than hear what he was saying....im only human. but what he siad was real neat. i even copied down some of his thoughts. would write up on it sometime later perhaps. Aarif wasnt speaking much...NAGESH HAD THE LIMELIGHT.He said, "As a film maker, all i have to give to the audience is my Originality...and if i cheat on that too..." Among all that he said, this is what i liked the most and things cant get more fundamental than this. Either ways...I have found my latest love...YES PEOPLE its Nagesh( blushing) :P
then there was a small session dedicated to the evergreen songs by Mohd. Rafi and Kishore Kumar.Te singers made goose bumps stand on our arms...Coffee, Kishore Kumar and U...do u need anything else to get a high?? NAAH!!!!!!!
And then we had some famous Maggi Bonda some iced tea and came home...ready to go for the finals ....

Psst psst: Unlike popular beliefs...IITians dont have horns...i double checked ;)

A Goof Up Queen...!!!!

this is like the best way of advertising for my newly started blog...!!! and aah wat a way. and anyways this happened this noon. so chances are most probably you are one of the people who are a part of my mailing list.
the "hi5" networking thing...i swear to God it aint my fault. his time it isnt...i got an invite from a friend to join "hi5" networking group and it must be my goof up session time because i just pressed some tab and the next thing i know ...i get a mail saying "shipra has invited you to join hi5". now imagine having ur college professors in ur mailing list...and then being a part of 5 online forums...ALL TO WHOM THIS MAIL INVITE IS GONE.!!!!!!!!! now im gettin acceptance mails which are like tonnes in number!!! AND... im being added to the yahoo messenger list of God alone knows how many strangers ....
so people...if u have got an invite ...jus dont accept it...[ invite gone to prof. mukkadam and Rahul shah and venkatesh too!!! :( ]

Opinion...Judgement...or I think...??

THE BACKGROUND: A frd and I were surfing through the net the other day and stumbled upon a personality test on http://onlythewayiseeit.blogspot.com/ we individually gave the test n the results were pretty amazing...they test u on ur extrovertness as against being an introvert, feelings against thinking, intution or sensing and last but not in the least percieving against judging...now this is where things start getting interesting.
THE ISSUE : PERCIEVING AGAINST JUDGING....we all kno im a lil opinionated(modest :P) so then we sat to discuss bout how much of opinion is judging and the difference and when does "i think" come in the picture.
Now a few points that came up : judgement can b different from opinion...as in judging is when we bring our code of conduct and ethics to the issue...like..." i dont like that style of dressing" is opinion and "that style is so wrong for her..." is judging. another thought was judging and opinion and biases are the same. yet another input was opinions are fixed and dont change...what expresses our likes and dislikes are our thoughts which can and may change over a period of time...
since different words have different intensity and interpretation for different people...the discussion did not come to a concrete end. however i THINK ;) it was pretty nice and insightful to know and realise on how loosely and interchangably we use words and dont realise the effect it might have on the other person.
what is your opinion??

BRB...3 letters n god wat a chaos

well now we all r humans right...n we forget to say ILL BE RIGHT BACK when we r engrossd in something serious...right??? (jus nod ur head...huh) well i did da same thing...i forgot to tell a frd im working n ill pm him later...okie da end result was no pleasant. he was waitin for my reply for 20 minutes...
now da most obvious thing to do is buzz me or sumthing rite. a frd RAVI suggestd jus apologise and close the issue. that id have done to if it were jus a one time occurance...(sheepish) so then, now i have to write a mail to him saying im sorry and I TRUELY AM..not for the "brb" thing...but for him waiting for 20 mins.
so i say...if a person is a lil...umm...absentminded bout saying BRB n da person happens to be a friend...cant u make allowances or try and understand and not b huffy bout the whole matter...?? i aint being insensitive...just matter of fact. i bet this happens lotsa times with everybody virtual or otherwise...(or is it just me??!!??)

Care for a Drop Of Elixir...??

y a drop of elixir??? other than the fact that it sounds very classy...it is kinda my life in a phrase...i aint getting philosophical. jus sassy :P. well the thing is i'd love to dish out smart profound philosophical verses ( during some moments i do too...well its a lunar thing) but then im a normal girl in a very normal environment and normal things happen to me...which i again romanticise and blow it into larger than life images...so then why blogging u would ask...because its something i want to do and see if i like it ( with my penchant for lengthy monologues--mostly sided from me im sure id like it).
so again, a drop of elixir i found out is a cure for all ailments...alchemists go hunt it out-- the philosophers stone because it turns metal into gold. mystic, exotic, fuelling fantasy types. and just a drop--look at that!!! lolz...sounds like ujala ad the "bas ek boond??!!"
well the phrase signifying my life because i always want something...real bad...and when i get it, im not sure i want it anymore. so the analogy goes like this...though the prospect of an eternity is a veryyy enticing one once it is actually offered to you i bet you are in a fix if you should actually take a sip of the nectar. so even if it is what you want, you are not sure if you want it and have it forever.i read someplace..."its like asking djinn for a wish. though you have the wish fulfilled and get what you want but somehow its not how you visualised things"
co incidentally...a drop of elixir fell in the river Kshipra in ujjain during Amrit Manthan....just a piece of hindu mythology