There is God!!!!

I never proclaimed that being single till ur 20 is sumthing to be proud of. Not like you can do something about it. If you are the conventional types. I WAS the conventional types. But then…one day I decided enough was enough.

Happened a month ago.
Decided whether to blog about it. Then decided against it. Then my friend askd me why I didn’t write about it. Then I decided to take a hiatus from blogging. Now finally I figure its about time I sling some mud on the “FRIEND” who broke my heart*exaggeration*

Digression (primalsoup style): Coming back to blogging I realized what a heady feeling it is. Time away was to do some thinking. I was soo buzy living, id stopped living completely. Was being soo full of myself that my ego and my self centeredness was spilling outta my blog in2 the real world. So I had to stop and take charge. Not just the blog but everything else too. Didn’t work. Too bad. Ill leave deep writings for some other post. SEEEEEEE!!! Two weeks o introspection n absodamnlutely no effect. This is gonna piss me off too. But later!! All sodding stuff later!!!!

Anyways…I was saying, I am a perfectly normal human being. ANDD liking a guy is a part of normality. What isn’t normal…actually it is, but I thought it wasn’t…not normal-normal but conventional-normal. Too many people do it these days. Gurls I mean. Tell a guy she digs him. Makes sense actually. Coz if the guy digged u right bak, he would say or do sumthing bout it rite!!?? But no. Since it is not happening. Mite as well take the initiative yourself. Era of feminism n liberation of women and all that shit.

So I decided to spice up my concocted-in-mind-non-existent love life by deciding to have a crush on a friend. Well it isn’t as bad as it sounds. I didn’t think and decide that the person is gonna be my next infatuation or sumthing. Aaahhh. It is getting worse, my explanation. So ill chuck it.

CHAPTER I
A friend, a GOOD friend (now the good is in bold and caps not because he is more than a friend but a very close friend and later do you realize why I stressed on the goodness. *rolling eyes*) came down to India for his vacations. And I*ashamed now* was infatuated by him. The last statement is making me defensive. But I wont defend myself or anything. I bet everyone goes through these phases. And he is a smart, intelligent and nice guy. Not very studly…but then theek hi hai abhi, u can't have everything. But as it turned out you can't have a decent response to the first tentative proposal of your life. One would expect more from a good friend. SIGH!!

So almost a month after he came down, I decided after too much deliberations and a lot o coaxing from a colleague (Christine) that I should tell him how I feel before he leaves for states or id have lost the chance till the next time he comes and who knows if by then…one year is a long time *jeez I am sounding like femme fatale!!!!*

And I collected my courage one day and told him on the phone that I THINK I am developing a huge HUGE crush on him. Waited with bated breath for his reaction. And…ANDDDDDD!!!!!! He laughed. HE LAUGHED!!!!!!! *the nerve of the ass like he gets such statements 10 a day*

Him: hehe, how much do you know me anyways?!
Me: Yeah I know, I am a fool.*muttering under my breath*
Him: no, you are cute.
Cute??!!!??CUTE???!!!! yeah rite!!
Me:*still persistant* cute?? Isn’t there something you should say?? Like no, ships u don’t like me or sumshit. You just gobbled it and sit quiet.
Him: what do you want me to say?? I knew it already.
I left the matter. If anything I didn’t expect him to be chilled about it. I was almost embarrassed. I can't be soo transaparent. At least being a good *the good from the bold and caps above comes in question comes here*. A friend would mean you react suitably surprised and flattered and flustered. What with this being my first admission of infatuation, I expected my friend to be more considerate and react appropriately. But no!! I was gonna get a supremely smug reaction of “I already knew it"

That was chapter one. Chapter two is worse. And here is where I show what an ass he really is and how the villain broke my heart.

CHAPTER II
He knows a gurl since 5 years. Since before I knew him. He doesn’t know her, know her. He’d jus met him once before for God’s sake. I knew that he would like to get to know her better. He found her interesting. All that I knew I admit. I was a friend before naa. It was recently that I had more than friendly feelings for him *or not!!*

When he came down this time, he decided he will meet her. I, yes people it was I who told him, encouraged him even, to go meet her. She wasn’t ready, but I asked her to be persistant. Finally she agreed to meet him.

And this pig tells me about it. Some thing like this is the conversation.
Me: *morose* how did it go??
Him: *pepped up* oh it was nice!! She is very nice. I would like to meet her again. Get to know her.
(oh and btw, did I fail to mention that she has a boyfriend already?? YES!! She is seeing someone already and he still wants to “get to know her better” HURMP!!)
ME:*feigning excitement* good for u, r u meeting her again? * heart beating 130 a minute*
Him: hehe yeah. She didn’t want to. But she wants a book that I have. I told her if she wants the book, she has to meet me.
*duh!!!! Ofcourse she doesn’t wanna meet. She has a guy already. But I was still empathetic n all, I decided if not mine but at least his love life should go somewhere. SIGH. DOUBLE SIGH!!! I supported him all along*

just before he leaves he messages me saying he is going to meet her that day and will profess his interest in her.

All would have been fine if I hadn’t liked him liked him…Worse was me had told him bout it and the pig discusses his lovelife with ME of all people. Then has the nerve of asking me if I was alright about it.

Alls well that ends well…the gurl didn’t meet him, he didn’t confess anything, I was glad- ashamed about how happy I was- but still glad.

OH THERE IS GOD!!!! *grin*