My Silence

And i have this page open since half hour and I dont know what I have to write about. No, I dont suppose this is writer's block. Simply because it is not that i cant think of what to write...but coz i dont feel like writing.

Now the most obvious question would be so why do I bother?? Lol, announcing that there are my beautiful people who read my blogs and I cant disappoint them would be me blowing my own trumpet, so would calling myself sexy and beautiful...
I wouldnt have to blow my own trumpet if somebody else did it for me. But then no one else will and a gurl has to do what a gurl has to do.
And that is precisely what i am doing...no, no!! Not praising myself (though i very well can!! coz this is my blog n all that shit, but i wont. Notice my modesty and my humble nature )i would have completed the statement but I kinda forgot what i was gonna say. So I will stuff it till the time when it comes back to me.

And this is precisely what my problem is says a friend. He in his im-too-brilliant-for-my-pants style told me the other that speech is silver...but silence, honey, is gold. I didnt utter a word simply because saying anything would mean he is right and id be damned if id help him in proving him rite. So i stayed mum. Errmm if i were really true to myself and there is just one place I am true to myself...no it aint my blog, but the loo. (offtrack: I think it does sound nice huh saying when Im going outta subject neways...i was talking about philosophising in the loo So here goes :Ships Gyaan - Loo not only answers nature's call but spiritual call as well. that was shitty, pun intended!! )
So i was saying...being true to myself, i have to agree i was not mum simply coz i didnt want to prove him right, though it featured largly in the scheme of things, more cause it was almost 3 in the night n I had work to do the next day and he was in his “im-giving-gyaan-to-u-lowly-mortal”, was one of those philosophical cum racist cum personal opinion typa discussion. And I didnt say a word. It cost me my dear life *now im exaggerating* but i stayed shut.

We were talking of herd mentality and groups and people and safety net and all that. Tell me who would be interested in all that at 3? I told himi wasnt and started talking about something else. It was then when he told me the statement which was to lead to my nirvana *rolling eyes* The fact that i rattle on and on and on and dont let him talk. So from a dialogue, apparently APPARENTLY!!! i make it a monologue. No points for guessing who does all the talking and he accused...mind you it’s a heavy word- ACCUSED me of not letting the other person talk or waiting for me to think what im talking about. Now that rankled and I got mad. I mean that is offensive rite… and so I, in my most innocent, humblest, hurtest tone till date, told him...my words are for others...and my silence is for me.

Have to trust me when I say this...i didnt expect the reaction the statement would recieve. He was stumped!!! lol...and silent.

And I think finally that is what this post is gonna be about!! My silence. And the fact that *warning: this is getting philosophical* that speech is cheap and so is free, but silence comes at a cost and is dear.
I think in the heat of the moment...ahem...and my recitation to silent shounak, i hit the truth. Another Gyaan moment about discoveries made by chance and such...
Suitably recovered shouny told me that in that case i shouldnt have a lot of time for myself because he doesnt think I am silent at all. Sarcasm...the pompous ass!!!
I decided i wont get defensive and justify. And rudely told him I am n ot answerable to anybody about my silence and the lack of it. Truth is, it rankled. The fact that you need to defend urself in front of your best pal.

And so i did the next best thing...hehe to show him that i can be silent if i choose to. And that was soo typically gurlie...now my head bows down in shame *no it doesnt* I banged the phone on him and didnt talk to him for a couple o days...then he said sorry n shit...I AM A GURL!!! mutated gene et al

Makes me wonder...speech is silver n silence is gold, then again...liking silver better than gold...to each his own I say *wink* (silver it is for me!!!)