A Drop Of Elixir ..........

Just enough to last a lifetime or enough to last the lifetime an eternity ...That again is a matter of opinion

Sunday, May 08, 2005

And Some Women Are Bitches

What I am going to say in this post is strictly against the code of the sisterhood convention. It strictly says in the rulebook that thou shalt never leak out secrets. And in a blogpost, it is blasphemy. And when I say this statement, people ask me about sisterhood convention. Many of the ladies don’t attend these unions. It is a group. A fraternity for women. Where they discuss just about everything under the sun and of course related to women.
Yes people, here is where I learnt the importance of words-nasty mouth-ruckus that it creates cardinal sin to frame a sentence using these words, so the nxt best thing and fine-tuned my fashion sense to an art and learnt the number of times I should bat my eye lashes to attract a specific male attention.

So I was talking about the sisterhood fraternity. And the fact that many women think they are above such mortal or women things. Of course we are not talking of the tomboys of this world those by default are not eligible for the society. Not offence really ladies, but fact is fact and I should call a spade a spade.

Here I am talking of the women who act feminist but think machoist. Ahem machoist is …err…the opposite of feminist?? Coined by yours truly.
So its about those women who are written bout in mills and boon. The ladies who always wanna snare the hero from the heroine. Those women who simper and coo and bat their eyelashes… there is a difference in their batting lemme tell you guys. We come across them all over the place. In classrooms, on blogs, in chat rooms, traveling in a bus, a train, some are unfortunate to have em as neighbours even!!!

The personality types. They are sooo obvious. And can be slotted as the bitches. Erratica was telling us the other day of a lady who works with her. A typical specimen of a bitch. The I-am-oh-so-sexy-but-so-darned-vulnerable types. Showing a non existent cleavage, smiling perfectly so that the fang canines don’t show, eyes twinkling and nose twitching. Devious females. Lemme elaborate on such types. They are the one who are over friendly on the second meeting. Are caring and considerate. So sweet that even butter wont melt in their beautiful mouths. Just until there is an audience. Their boyfriends, other gurls…anybody but the two of you. And this is only for the honorary people of the same gender.
But then they are like umm the phrase in hindi… “meethi choori” literal translation would be sweet knife. The kill. Little LITTLE jibes, sweet insults, cute put downs. And in all this they look as angelic as they come. The epitome of feminity. Pulchritude coming out in waves. Fairy incarnate. BAH!! *rolling eyes* Lol. I know at this point I am oozing disgust and repulse but I can't help it!!!

Now that the type is defined and the characteristics talked of, lemme tell you how to identify these people from other normal women. They are easily identifiable. One look at them and people get more awed than warmed.
Now like any species, these errmm ladies too have different types:
There are the intelligent types. Who know everything about everything. They have something to say about everything. Everything in the world happening to anybody has happened to them. They are the ones who have been there done that.
Ref to context: ahem never mind this one.

Then there are the supercool babes. They surprisingly have done all the “in” things, even before they were “in”. stylish to the point of being obscene, these females are the futuristic ones. They will tell you about the hippest places in Mumbai that cost the earth and the earth knows you can't afford. They will tell of the famous people they know and are in contact with. They will tell you about how they rebel. About how defiant they are and break the rules but still the people around love them because…no points for guessing my lovelies, they are the sexy vulnerable babes!!! And we all have enough guy friends to know that such a combination is irresistible to the male of the human species.
Ref to context: umm almost half the females fall under this one but the one everyone in blogworld knows of is my classmate the famous P_y_l.

Then there are the blatantly bitchy types. They are my favourites. Because they are in your face. They know and you know that both of you dislike each other but still are sweet to each other and then cuss at each other. I like these ladies because they are as close to being honest bitches as they come. You know where you stand with them, and that is under their feet if they have their way. But since it all is mutual and out in the open…alls well that ends well.
Ref to context: Shruti. She, people is a lady with whom I have a love hate relationship. A gurl I genuinely love and dislike actively. And love all the more for this open bitchiness she displays.

And there are so many more types. But bitchiness apart, talking, walking, being friends with such women is always dicey. It isn’t about backstabbing or being waspish. Its about the lack of openness and friendliness without the ego and one upmanship that comes with it. Eerr maybe it is about being waspish and mean to your own friend.
It is true that there is a bit of one upmanship here and there in every relationship but then it all is in the spirit of the friendship. I get along very well with both the sexes. And most of the people are beautiful. The guys as much fun as the gurls. But then invariably there is that one soul who is bent on putting you down. Depending upon the sex of the person, brutally if it a guy and gently if it’s a gurl, but down nonetheless. And it can't be denied that women are born with a highly honed sixth sense *wink* so when it is the men, it becomes antagonism and with women it becomes subtle games of words and insults. Believe me it does happen.

But then I think what fun without such people. Everything would be goody goody. And we all agree too much sweet is gagging but too much spice is never unwelcome?? They amuse, they engage, they tickle and they irritate. And that is what makes them worthy of a blog post.

And I think after all that analysis done on bitches…ahem…I too am guilty…. *devilish grin*

38 Comments:

  • At May 08, 2005 6:28 AM, Blogger anubhav said…

    lol...nice post

    dont know whether it is impious to reveal secrets in a post..but this one gave me a rare chance to know what women think of women in general ...

    and ya it's agree great to have so many 'species' of women ....or lets say humans in general..gives loads of choices..

    u didnt tell which category u fall in :D

     
  • At May 08, 2005 11:05 AM, Blogger Geetanjali said…

    LOL - great post Elixir. Couldn't dispute any of those ;-) Specially the description of the personality types - dangerous is what they are. I've had experiences with more than my fair share of them and can tell them from a mile apart! Badnaam karke rakh dete hain woh type, hum normal bitches ko;-)

     
  • At May 08, 2005 12:05 PM, Blogger Elixir said…

    anubhav: hehe. ofcourse it is impious when u reveal such things in ur post.
    n hey hey heyyyy i dont think all women r bitches!!!! jus a select few. n women think highly o women...or wud u rather i write a poston how men r dogs??:P

    Gee:lol yah talk of fine tuned senses...n haan humko badnaam kar diya hai...woh baat sahi hai...*shakes head* i wish i knew sum uptight gurl who wud read this n blast our head off...that wud b fun i think...*wink*

     
  • At May 08, 2005 1:06 PM, Anonymous divya said…

    good one gurl......
    so which type is u??
    kidding we r the sweetheart types arent we? the not-even-a-bit-bitchy-sweet-intelligent-most adorable-wonderful kinda ppl........
    hehe!!....
    bye yaar!!!!

     
  • At May 08, 2005 10:07 PM, Blogger manuscrypts said…

    ah..insights.. :)

     
  • At May 08, 2005 10:10 PM, Blogger Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said…

    I agree with you. A very interesting post. Its got me thinking now and I feel like putting women I know in different categories of bitches!!

     
  • At May 08, 2005 11:34 PM, Blogger succubus said…

    intresting...and VERY true!!

     
  • At May 09, 2005 12:31 AM, Blogger Elixir said…

    divs:we are??? ahem yes we are!!! *wink*

    manu: umm hmm

     
  • At May 09, 2005 12:35 AM, Blogger Elixir said…

    kroopa: lol im not sure if its a good thing :P

    succubus: lol yep it is!!

     
  • At May 09, 2005 3:49 AM, Blogger erratica said…

    great post. i thought u had started liking P_Y_L, thats the impression i had when rohini n u were tokin abt her. i think purva can tell u a lot more abt that know-it-all [dare i give ref to context ;)]. is this post inspired by that little conversation we had at Purvz?

     
  • At May 09, 2005 5:55 AM, Blogger Grafxgurl said…

    sigh... lets just say ive had my share of those witches...and am over and done with them.. have always made bad choices when it came to female friends because i always made friends with the ones who seemed so sweet and helpful but WOE to me if i got on their bad side.. i was treated like the lowest stone!...have always had guy best friends.. and they are the most un complicated people... and so i shall stick to them..

     
  • At May 09, 2005 8:42 AM, Blogger anubhav said…

    elixir i dont write about obvious things ...but hey dont bitches love dogs :D

     
  • At May 09, 2005 9:52 AM, Blogger . : A : . said…

    The hitch hikers guide to the various types ...

    ;-)

     
  • At May 10, 2005 12:08 AM, Anonymous Man with no Name said…

    .. but for miss beauty and brain, we are looking in vain!!!

    P.S.: Whatcha mean come back? I never left.. I was reading all the blogs from my RSS reader..

     
  • At May 10, 2005 1:13 AM, Anonymous suraj said…

    whic one u see urself as???

     
  • At May 10, 2005 4:20 AM, Anonymous SK said…

    Great Post.
    Easy to understand, thanks to all Ekta Kapoor saas-bahu soaps.
    How about writing a script for Balaji.
    If the idea clicks do remember me when the pay-packet arrives.

     
  • At May 10, 2005 6:30 AM, Blogger SmartOxymoron said…

    You missed one category... my type of woman :P
    (Mix all the types and put in a shapely vessel. Fill with spirit and set on fire. Hot!)

     
  • At May 10, 2005 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Women with a sense of humour are incredibly attractive.
    Bitches or otherwise.

    Ark of Noah

     
  • At May 10, 2005 12:50 PM, Blogger Elixir said…

    erratica: much b4 da do at purvs, n no thr is no love lost between me n payal.
    n shush gurl bout miz kno-it-all.*wink*

    grafxgurl: strange i tell ya, we all seem to kno da types. is thr no female soul i ask who would say its untrue or atleast reprimand us bout da mud we r slinging at our own race??!!!???

     
  • At May 10, 2005 12:54 PM, Blogger Elixir said…

    anubhav: at da risk o sounding crude...dogs go sniffing round bitches.

    A: *grin*

    MwnN: oh u have found miz beauty n brains (n bitchiness) *notice the beauty of alliteration here*. ME!!!

     
  • At May 10, 2005 12:58 PM, Blogger Elixir said…

    suraj: ahem...lemme see now, its true that ive seen all n done all, n m blatantly bitchy...
    hmm. except da supercool, im da rest o em :P

    SK: a script for balaji?? lol r u kidding?? they NEED to be in da same shit!!!! its like needing oxygen.sum ppl jus dont want upliftment*shrugs*

     
  • At May 10, 2005 1:20 PM, Blogger Elixir said…

    Soxy: lol ofcourse... nothing but the worse for u dahlin. *mix all indeed n come up wid a superbitch*

    Ark O Noah: hmm...is it??*noting the point for da nxt bitch ahem sisterhood convention*

     
  • At May 11, 2005 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    k am not sposed to be blog hopping but here i am to find out more abt ur fusht day at wurk n what do i find!!!ok i know it isnt connected in the least but sumhow felt i had to share my latest pearl of wisdom with sumone else other than grafx:p so heres ma theory: if a guy bitches abt a guy, dont believe. if a gal bitches abt a guy, listen and be warned.if a gal bitches abt a gal, dont believe. if a guy bitches abt a gal, listen. its not a fool-proof theory yet and there are exceptions(no rule is fool proof)but for the most part, its true.also there are other stuff like context etc;-) 2nd point-all these classifications apply to males too!3rd:men make much better friends than women.but when they develop 'other feelings' towards u or vice-versa, these good friends go into jerk mode. there...am done. am goin right back to sleep.too lazy to bother with signing in.

    rapunzel

     
  • At May 11, 2005 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    as for ur question to grafx, nope.women are all bitches.LOL.but then all men are bastards too:D what a nice race we are:) yay!!!!aren't u glad to be alive?

    rapunzel

     
  • At May 11, 2005 1:47 AM, Blogger Sarabjot said…

    "A fraternity for women" is a sorority.

    I like your style of writing, and to be honest I was, pleasantly, surprised by how passionate your post was.

    I disagree with your classification of "intelligent types" as a segment of "bitches". The commonality of all bitches is egocentrism will being intelligent does not always imply this.

    Personally I don’t think we have enough "intelligent types" in the world.

     
  • At May 11, 2005 6:28 AM, Blogger rapunzel said…

    was lolling around on the bed when it occurred to me that there was one thing u'd left out-the types who are always talking abt their sexual exploits.eeeeeesh have u met the types?"when i was living in with my first bf, blah blah blah." bah!they think they invented sex!*gag**puke*

     
  • At May 11, 2005 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Rule of 3 ( From American Pie)

    Woman says : i made out with Guy
    what they mean: He held my hand

    woman says: he held my hand
    what they mean: they sat 15 feet apart

    woman speak: He was giving me the vibe
    meaning: anywhere between he looked at her once and blinked to he passed by her in the corridor/mall/ college/canteen

    woman speak: we had sex
    meaning: they talked abt some porn movie.

    Noah of Ark

     
  • At May 11, 2005 11:21 AM, Blogger Elixir said…

    Rapz: hmm yeah..i still have 2 write bout my work naa!!!!
    i get soo tired at da end o da day.

    lol.true true!!!!!*nods vehemently* @ gurls being bitches n men being bastards

    Sarabjot: OFCOURSE!!!!!!!!
    the sorority!!!! brothers frm fraternity n sisters from sorority.lol i like da movie, sorority sisters...
    u have da rite 2 disagree sarabjot,but id suggest look at gurls more closely. or on second thoughts...ahem neva mind *wink*

     
  • At May 11, 2005 11:44 AM, Blogger Elixir said…

    rapz: lol YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! hw cud i forget them!!!???!!??

    dear biblical character or thing: wid ur comments...rite now im a bit on da defencive side. *sheepish* we r not that bad u kno...jus a lil on da exaggeration side, mayb rapz sums it up da best. she IS intelligent enough 2 kno boutthese things.

     
  • At May 11, 2005 9:18 PM, Blogger manuscrypts said…

    busy hunting?? ;)

     
  • At May 12, 2005 2:36 AM, Blogger Ad astra per aspera said…

    Hehehe... Funny post. Very true too. You missed one more category though."The holier-than-thou-cobweb-cleaner-of-your-mind bitches" You know the types who want to preach about all the things they never practice. The self-help-book- quoter types.
    I am actually thinking of dedicating one entire post to em bitches.
    - blatantly bitchy'
    Shilpa :D

     
  • At May 12, 2005 2:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    escuse me?!??!?!?and since when did i become an authority on such-like things???if i were an authority gal, i wouldnt be wasting my time hitting on u;-)i'd be looking for other 'prey':-O

     
  • At May 12, 2005 2:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oh!that was me, rapz.lazy to sign in again.

     
  • At May 12, 2005 10:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what about the nice take-home-to-momma kinds?
    They deserve mention too.

    OF Noah Ark

     
  • At May 19, 2005 6:30 AM, Anonymous ij said…

    I love them bitchy type of bitches (or whatever you said in your post) .. they tell you to fuck off when they don't like them and you can tell them to fuck off when they begin to piss you .. pretty simple ..

     
  • At June 03, 2005 11:15 AM, Blogger Me said…

    I think you forgot LOTSA other types...

     
  • At February 03, 2007 5:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's a great story. Waiting for more. »

     
  • At April 25, 2007 10:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is very interesting site... »

     

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