A Drop Of Elixir ..........

Just enough to last a lifetime or enough to last the lifetime an eternity ...That again is a matter of opinion

Thursday, September 15, 2005

And I blog again...

If i post this one now, it will be a feat accomplished.
Was blog surfing since yesterday, n boy is everything different or what?!

Some taking a break, some on with life as always...some (read erratica n soxy- romancing thru comments section)
I still am a lil shy.

I jus wanna cry!!! * ill chuck the formal stuff for someother time!!! THIS IS MY BLOG SPACE!!!!!!!!!!*
i wanna cry so bad that I just pour out - everything thats hurting, everything thats undone, everything that pains... forget - every person who breaks my trust, every one who is not there anymore, every memory that brings it all back...

I jus wanna start afresh! Is it too much to ask??? To go back to being innocently self centered, seeing things with rose tinted glasses, jus being full o myself that outside didnt affect my existance?? I suppose it is. Not mid life crisis, im too young for that! Or m i? Maybe i need a brain transplant?! Im thinking too much these days, getting to be too paranoid, too touchy, too everything!!!

It all begins from the beginning actually. When people dont know you. Everything is hunky dory...then slowly...when they get close to you, see more than the perfect facade of yours, see you react to situations...then it all starts, the surprise, the shock, the fact that the person is jus so different than what you thought him to be!! The person is jus human! I dont even know what shit im babbling...but what the heck, no freud is reading this anyways. I wish I understood myself, realised who I am and stuff...its getting too complicated. I dono wat is the real me? The laughing-attempts at pathetic jokes- goof or this..this crying, wimpy shrivelled up thing!

I miss me, the old me. But the new me is kinda exciting too. Jus as unpredictable, but like ayee says, negatively.... bless her soul. I wouldnt ever want a daughter like me, or a frd or a mate....

Guess m too screwd up rite now, its late in the night, need to sleep!


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