Miserable!!!!

Forever and always, these days.
Very very restless!!
Dont know wat i want, what im seeking... but im searching for something. Peace maybe. God, once upon a time id go sniffing for trouble just to pep up my mundane life.
Not like suddenly my life has become any less mundane but a lot o trouble lately.
It isnt even trouble, God alone knows what it is, coz i sure cant fathom.....

Thought of changing my blog url... why you ask? Because my boss happened to read the posts dedicated to him (were nasty posts) . No use scrolling down searching for the posts, deleted them as a mark of my apology to him.
Then decided to change my url. First thought was that I dont wanna do it. I dont think I will. There is a curious peace when I see the old pink and brown page. Very pink as the guy bloggers would comment *smiling fondly*

Id once sworn Id never change. But today was showing my palm to a colleague who -she says- can read em. And there is a drastic change in the lines i was born with and my present lines. Figues, i thought. Have always wantd to do something myself.

Trying to find my sense o humour, trying to find my zest for life. Feel like crying sometimes. A lot of things went into making me the way I am today. Maybe a lot more confident, a lot more successful *now that is debatable* but I hate to see at the cost of me. Who am I to blame anybody, I lapped appreciation when I got it, hungered for more...

Wish I wasnt such a fool. Work happened and love happened. N now I know that all my efforts in both is not going to be fruitful. Trying so hard to be the same old me, not happening. But i dont think im gonna give up!

I was fabulous once... I will be again. *I hope*