I feel like a rant!!

I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE!!! This...THIS goody goody life!!!! *contorting face to look frustrated*
uff...and for that I think I am going to rant. About anything!! About everything!!!
These are the times my folks dread. I don’t blame them either. Its just that there is nothing happening in life that is exciting which is pissing me off. Life is getting stagnant. Stagnant nahi…I might be even regressing. Now this is shitty aint it!!! Nothing new is happening. Everything is going just smooth. My life is picture perfect *urrgggghhhh*

And it really isn’t. Picture perfect I mean. There are those small things I don’t pay attention to just because I am too happy to bother with them. Yes people 24*7!!! Yes I kno…I could give my dog diabetes with my oh-so-amazing-it-is perception of life. Candy sweet, rozy glasses n such shit.
And so the shitty mood that I am in,I am gonna whine. Whine?? No not whine. Scream, screech, rant. About all the sad things, irritating technology, friends who ditch you and the fact that looking pretty aint easy!!!

Like right now, I decided I will get a Tag Board installed. And I did get it installed. But then I wont get the desired colour. So now that is wat it is. Some stupid colour pink.

Speaking of pink, my office building is pink too. Now this is the limit. And I changed my template. Not because I was sick of pink, (psst actually I was, but id b damned if I admit it loud to the glee of my guy frds who detest pink) there are still traces of silly gurlie pink in my stupid blog ….but coz my profile n archive n fav list wud go rite in the bottom of the page. It was okie till I wanted to add the tag board.
Now I dono how good the taggie thingy will work. But then I don’t even know if people will just scroll down to pen a nice few words about my dumb blog. SOOO I had to have the rest of the shit up beside my posts. And so the change in the template.

It aint like the template is not good or sumthing. But like IJ said, its too plain. There is excess of nothing but words. Now again I have to go looking for sum lessons in HTML to make my blog look a lil life like. Some people liked my template…so I think ill just stuff it.

Enough crying about how technology is such a royal pain in the @$$. It is different matter that I am a techietard. But whoever said venting out your frustrations have to be done in a just and fair manner??!!

Next I am going to talk about how I wake up these days. Rocky-my dog, now knows I wake up at around 7 in the morn. And he has, it seems, decided since my snooze clock and my stupid cell phone is not enough to wake the sleeping beauty, he will do the honours. And how pray tell me does he do that?? By licking my face. that is how I wake up in the mornings. With doggy drool all over my face and neck. It is his love and affection says maa. *rolling eyes* these days I tell you, it aint as simple to get a dog and expect him to flatter your ego. Big sad eyes and a lolling tongue. BAH gone are those days when going to my aunts would mean have her dog tail you. No pun.
Rocky doesn’t want me to hug n pet him when I feel like it. He wants it done when HE is in the mood. *rolling eyes with an exaggerated sigh* Talk of being pricey.

Ha…pricey reminds me of purva. She is in town these days. Me in my sweetly innocent way made a lot of plans on how we were to spend our time with her. Rohini, purv and me. But it turns out madam purv has her plans already…AND THOSE…if I might add, do not include us. Oh I don’t delude myself by thinking I am the center of the universe for all and sundry but her plans…hold your breath…include showing her pune pals the city of Mumbai. Yes people, she plans to spend her meager holiday time in Mumbai being with the people she lives with in pune. Talk of friends…
I told her that. It rankled obviously. And smart n sassy that she is…she turned the tables on me by sounding hurt and disappointed. Saying 3 years ought to count for some trust.
Finally I did go visit her the whole of Sunday…my precious Sunday, only the working people will know how much Sunday is cherished. N I aint even well. Hurmp!!!!

Ive got bad cold. And it would have been okie if things were only till that!! But I got my nose pierced a fortnite ago. Ahem It looks mega sexy and darned ethnic. Also I take this opportunity to tell that my mom comin bak frm blore got me a solitaire stud. Which winks like a star when it catches light *lil jig like joey does*
Hmm so since I got my nose pierced, I need to be extra careful of women who in their over eager need of expressing, gesticulate. At times even I have narrowly avoided collision of my hands wid my nose. Now in all this, I land up wid a horrid cold and terrible cough. It gets so darned yucky. Blowing and wiping your nose. This is one instance I didn’t foresee while listing the pros and cons of piercing my nose.
Anyways, I in my always-optimistic way know that colds don’t last, but sexy looks do. And my gold nose ring sure looks sexy.

Lol. Look at my pathetic condition…nothing happening in my life has reduced my blog post to talks of pierced nose and snot!!! I think I just mite be tempted to hook up with some loser just to get sum excitement in life. Yeah, its that bad!!!

Something analogous
Masochist *whining, begging, pleading*: gimme pain, hurt me, insult me!!!!!!
Sadist *wid an evil grin*: he he nope. I won’t!!

My Silence

And i have this page open since half hour and I dont know what I have to write about. No, I dont suppose this is writer's block. Simply because it is not that i cant think of what to write...but coz i dont feel like writing.

Now the most obvious question would be so why do I bother?? Lol, announcing that there are my beautiful people who read my blogs and I cant disappoint them would be me blowing my own trumpet, so would calling myself sexy and beautiful...
I wouldnt have to blow my own trumpet if somebody else did it for me. But then no one else will and a gurl has to do what a gurl has to do.
And that is precisely what i am doing...no, no!! Not praising myself (though i very well can!! coz this is my blog n all that shit, but i wont. Notice my modesty and my humble nature )i would have completed the statement but I kinda forgot what i was gonna say. So I will stuff it till the time when it comes back to me.

And this is precisely what my problem is says a friend. He in his im-too-brilliant-for-my-pants style told me the other that speech is silver...but silence, honey, is gold. I didnt utter a word simply because saying anything would mean he is right and id be damned if id help him in proving him rite. So i stayed mum. Errmm if i were really true to myself and there is just one place I am true to myself...no it aint my blog, but the loo. (offtrack: I think it does sound nice huh saying when Im going outta subject neways...i was talking about philosophising in the loo So here goes :Ships Gyaan - Loo not only answers nature's call but spiritual call as well. that was shitty, pun intended!! )
So i was saying...being true to myself, i have to agree i was not mum simply coz i didnt want to prove him right, though it featured largly in the scheme of things, more cause it was almost 3 in the night n I had work to do the next day and he was in his “im-giving-gyaan-to-u-lowly-mortal”, was one of those philosophical cum racist cum personal opinion typa discussion. And I didnt say a word. It cost me my dear life *now im exaggerating* but i stayed shut.

We were talking of herd mentality and groups and people and safety net and all that. Tell me who would be interested in all that at 3? I told himi wasnt and started talking about something else. It was then when he told me the statement which was to lead to my nirvana *rolling eyes* The fact that i rattle on and on and on and dont let him talk. So from a dialogue, apparently APPARENTLY!!! i make it a monologue. No points for guessing who does all the talking and he accused...mind you it’s a heavy word- ACCUSED me of not letting the other person talk or waiting for me to think what im talking about. Now that rankled and I got mad. I mean that is offensive rite… and so I, in my most innocent, humblest, hurtest tone till date, told him...my words are for others...and my silence is for me.

Have to trust me when I say this...i didnt expect the reaction the statement would recieve. He was stumped!!! lol...and silent.

And I think finally that is what this post is gonna be about!! My silence. And the fact that *warning: this is getting philosophical* that speech is cheap and so is free, but silence comes at a cost and is dear.
I think in the heat of the moment...ahem...and my recitation to silent shounak, i hit the truth. Another Gyaan moment about discoveries made by chance and such...
Suitably recovered shouny told me that in that case i shouldnt have a lot of time for myself because he doesnt think I am silent at all. Sarcasm...the pompous ass!!!
I decided i wont get defensive and justify. And rudely told him I am n ot answerable to anybody about my silence and the lack of it. Truth is, it rankled. The fact that you need to defend urself in front of your best pal.

And so i did the next best thing...hehe to show him that i can be silent if i choose to. And that was soo typically gurlie...now my head bows down in shame *no it doesnt* I banged the phone on him and didnt talk to him for a couple o days...then he said sorry n shit...I AM A GURL!!! mutated gene et al

Makes me wonder...speech is silver n silence is gold, then again...liking silver better than gold...to each his own I say *wink* (silver it is for me!!!)

Oh I Love My Life :D

I take it back. I take it all back!!!
Every whine, every rant, every crib i made last week about my job, my work, the place its located, my collegues, my boss even. Both online and offline.
Coz the simple fact is it rocks!!!! MY JOB ROCKS!!!!
And this is not just coz o all da worldly wisdom and gyaan given by all you beautiful * ahem* people about how positive attitude and good outlook would help me feel good about my work, its because my job is jus fantabulous.

And ill tell you gladly what is it that over these past two weeks made me realise i just might be the most blessed person in the world after ...after...umm...after the most blessed person.
# I start my day at 7 30 in the morning. which is good coz i used to be up by 6 to go to college. sigh college. I miss college man!!!!

# Icome in royal shitty ride all da way to office. Its sooo dusty...da roads!!! U cant take the rick for the same reason. Because by the time you reach office, there is 2 millimeter thick cake of mud on your body. Or the parts (of ur bod) exposed to the relentless sun and heat and dirt!! So you obviously have to take the bus. Bus is cheaper too. actually goin on and stating precisely how cheap it is would be....aah what the heck, its Rs. 4 and 50 paise *grin*

# I come to office and open my dabba...oh yeah!!! I get tiffin from home *implying im jassi types* amd start hogging. Not for anyother reason but the fact that i have no time to eat breakfast because i wake up late.

#Then I open the newspaper. Yes people i read newspapers n all these days. ECONOMIC TIMES!!! no less.

# Now I open my mail box, check stuff...read mails, delete forwards, reply to some...dont blog though. Stil lnot in the groove of actually writing about my innate feelings when there is Akon playing "im so lonely" in the background.

#Finally I decide its about time i start working because at the end of the day...or maybe in the beginning as the case may be here, all those moral science lessons by Ms. Monica Lopez about work being worship and dedication n focus is not lost on me. i always iterate im a achcha bachcha.

#By 2. 30- 3, im brain dead. I cant work after lunch. Not for anyother reason but for the fact that the work is soo intense, i just cant do it. And you all know how it is for a novice like me. *sheepish*

# So after 3 i officially stop working and remember all the people ivelost contact with, all the net friends who were in my iggy bin, all those other sodding piece of asses who are working and all and sundry I manage to catch online or even on the phone.

So that is how ive been doing since last two weeks. Working, learning grasping stuff and basically slogging my precious ass off.
Now someof my oh-so-dear friends in the blogworld or otherwise wouldnt really agree with me on the slogging part. And here is where I feel I just HAVE to defend myself because Ive more than compensated for the way i have lived my life. So in these 2 weeks, Ive worked more than I have in the 20 years of my existance. And that is a very heavy statement.

Ill spare all the details on the gyaan of how it is like working and the accountablility and responsibility and all that s hit that i thought was all fancy talk and didnt care a f*** actually do exist.
I cant really crib. Seriously. Because then that would make me an ungrateful wretch.
Flawless Comp *who is yet to be christened * and superfast internet connecti0n,
Private phoneline- completely my own...
Coffee five times a day *ghar pe im allowed only 3*
Music on request or get ur own songs funda,
5 days a week job from 9 30 to 5 30
Amazing collegues *n i aint saying this coz more than half o my co workers read my blog ;-)*
A Boss who got married this monday and so is outta town-yet not bossy and is a fun guy. I am talking -taking us out for a movie as a treat of him getting married.* now this is for if he ever reads my posts ;-)*
Zilch pressure as far as work per se goes,
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G scope of learning when I actually decide to honour the concept of work,

And all in all the chance of doing what I think I would wanna do the rest of my life and what I have been doing all along so far- Talking to people, getting to know them, basically flaunting my superior communication skills.
And if people arent absodamnlutely jealous ALREADY!!!! I ahem get to talk to supersexy sounding guys wid superintelligent brains (now that gotta b da clincher)*wink*

Jokes apart, its great for the simple reason that as long as I do what Im supposed to do, no one cares a rats ass to what ELSE I do. And it is not sumthing everyone can boast of, atleast not on their firstest job ever. I suppose a little later, i will be shown the bigger uglier picture, but for now Im content and happy with my life.
Abhi Ive finished my cadburys 5 Star which I might add *offended* does not have the gooey caramel and is not even cold!!!! And i need to go home to my FB who is developing inferiority complex.
So far...it is like a dream come true. oh and...I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!! *grin*

Psst: La Devil is inPune, pursuing her higher studies...she people has always been miss brains.She is someone who solves math coz she had nothing better to do. i can safely say this without being killed is because she has no net access for sometime. So she will be back with a bang and a lot o fun stories in a while... meanwhile erratica writes pretty cool stuff too...-ahem this aint marketing...its jus...aah well...

My First Week Of Working...

I AM THE QUEEN OF SHEBA INCARNATE!!!!!
And that was the delusion I lived in for the twenty years of my life. And I was sooo cruelly disillusioned this week that I could weep. Yes my people…. there the authority o queen Sheba in play monday was like my first day of my very first job of my life!!!!
I wish I had stories of adventure and excitement…but the fact is, the first day of my first job sucked. It’s the presumptions that’s the killer. Now that can b ship’s gyaan- It’s the presumptions that’s the killer. I presumed its the first day and so it will be a half day..like in skool. BAH what half day, the boss made us sit till later the quitting time.
I suppose I should start from the inception. It is the story that started bout a couple o months ago. I get a call for interview. I go n blabber shit. Now its common knowledge that I blabber but not shit always. Esp not in any of the interviews I d been to.

But this one was different. It was like I jus couldn’t seem to stop. Anyways after a devastating attempt at redeeming myself in front o da interviewer…I came bak home dejectd and sad, cursing my runaway mouth. And mom’s poking in the eye or more apt in the mouth bout how I cant stop yakking didn’t help my cause any.

Then like after a couple o months I get a call saying I have been shortlisted and then about being selected. That was like the time when I couldn’t seem to sit still and I was floating in cloud nine. N then there were gloatful nudges to to mom. And sticking out the tongue to sis.

ZOOM BAK TO PRESENT: more like to this Monday.

First day naa…I thought its gonna b like it was in skool and college. Half day. Only da giving of timetable and then letting us off. Did it happen here?? Just saying no n leaving it at that is doing injustice to my first day of firstest job. So im gonna go into total detail of precisely how shitty it was. It was like being thrown into the water and asked to swim. Swim phir bhi is okie…I would have flailed my limbs n surivie. But imagine asking you to swim among the sharks in da name of teaching you how to swim. In such a condition there is little you can do coz ur already in the water, so u pray to God that they get da fellow inductee and not you and that at night you will light a candle in da name of the dearly departed. And I did just that. From the class one, ive been avoiding anything to do with numbers and money *ofcourse unless its to spend* like a plague. And here I am working for something id sworn my life on im never gonna tolerate. So first day the first three hours I had to work on removing the mental block that I suck at finance. So it was understanding wat is corporate banking and corporate finance and corporate tax…equity and derivatives and by mid noon, I was brain dead!!! And that people doesn’t happen very often.

But the next day I caught up. And the day went very smooth but the traffic spoilt it all. I had to walk up the entire way to the train station. And the walk people is for 45 minutes. No issues really, help me tone down…now that I aint gymming anymore.
The nxt day was very smooth. More like uneventful. Then my boss decided that it was going too easy for the four of us, yesterday he gave us a 2 hour long session on how inqusitivity is dead among the youngsters today, how there is no learning attitude and that bar a few the rest o the people’s English sux too!!! And blah blah blah blah. And that is all we needed. Today he’s said he wont be coming to office.

He is getting married next week. So he wont be around next week I guess. Good thing. Not that he behaves like an ogre but is too astute for our liking. Though im in his good books, he doesn’t taunt me…jus lightly pulls my leg n all…gave me da bestest computer n all. So life as far as reporting to the senior is concerned everything is hunky dory.

Collegues are also real neat
So far so good, one week down…God alone knows how many more to go.

And Some Women Are Bitches

What I am going to say in this post is strictly against the code of the sisterhood convention. It strictly says in the rulebook that thou shalt never leak out secrets. And in a blogpost, it is blasphemy. And when I say this statement, people ask me about sisterhood convention. Many of the ladies don’t attend these unions. It is a group. A fraternity for women. Where they discuss just about everything under the sun and of course related to women.
Yes people, here is where I learnt the importance of words-nasty mouth-ruckus that it creates cardinal sin to frame a sentence using these words, so the nxt best thing and fine-tuned my fashion sense to an art and learnt the number of times I should bat my eye lashes to attract a specific male attention.

So I was talking about the sisterhood fraternity. And the fact that many women think they are above such mortal or women things. Of course we are not talking of the tomboys of this world those by default are not eligible for the society. Not offence really ladies, but fact is fact and I should call a spade a spade.

Here I am talking of the women who act feminist but think machoist. Ahem machoist is …err…the opposite of feminist?? Coined by yours truly.
So its about those women who are written bout in mills and boon. The ladies who always wanna snare the hero from the heroine. Those women who simper and coo and bat their eyelashes… there is a difference in their batting lemme tell you guys. We come across them all over the place. In classrooms, on blogs, in chat rooms, traveling in a bus, a train, some are unfortunate to have em as neighbours even!!!

The personality types. They are sooo obvious. And can be slotted as the bitches. Erratica was telling us the other day of a lady who works with her. A typical specimen of a bitch. The I-am-oh-so-sexy-but-so-darned-vulnerable types. Showing a non existent cleavage, smiling perfectly so that the fang canines don’t show, eyes twinkling and nose twitching. Devious females. Lemme elaborate on such types. They are the one who are over friendly on the second meeting. Are caring and considerate. So sweet that even butter wont melt in their beautiful mouths. Just until there is an audience. Their boyfriends, other gurls…anybody but the two of you. And this is only for the honorary people of the same gender.
But then they are like umm the phrase in hindi… “meethi choori” literal translation would be sweet knife. The kill. Little LITTLE jibes, sweet insults, cute put downs. And in all this they look as angelic as they come. The epitome of feminity. Pulchritude coming out in waves. Fairy incarnate. BAH!! *rolling eyes* Lol. I know at this point I am oozing disgust and repulse but I can't help it!!!

Now that the type is defined and the characteristics talked of, lemme tell you how to identify these people from other normal women. They are easily identifiable. One look at them and people get more awed than warmed.
Now like any species, these errmm ladies too have different types:
There are the intelligent types. Who know everything about everything. They have something to say about everything. Everything in the world happening to anybody has happened to them. They are the ones who have been there done that.
Ref to context: ahem never mind this one.

Then there are the supercool babes. They surprisingly have done all the “in” things, even before they were “in”. stylish to the point of being obscene, these females are the futuristic ones. They will tell you about the hippest places in Mumbai that cost the earth and the earth knows you can't afford. They will tell of the famous people they know and are in contact with. They will tell you about how they rebel. About how defiant they are and break the rules but still the people around love them because…no points for guessing my lovelies, they are the sexy vulnerable babes!!! And we all have enough guy friends to know that such a combination is irresistible to the male of the human species.
Ref to context: umm almost half the females fall under this one but the one everyone in blogworld knows of is my classmate the famous P_y_l.

Then there are the blatantly bitchy types. They are my favourites. Because they are in your face. They know and you know that both of you dislike each other but still are sweet to each other and then cuss at each other. I like these ladies because they are as close to being honest bitches as they come. You know where you stand with them, and that is under their feet if they have their way. But since it all is mutual and out in the open…alls well that ends well.
Ref to context: Shruti. She, people is a lady with whom I have a love hate relationship. A gurl I genuinely love and dislike actively. And love all the more for this open bitchiness she displays.

And there are so many more types. But bitchiness apart, talking, walking, being friends with such women is always dicey. It isn’t about backstabbing or being waspish. Its about the lack of openness and friendliness without the ego and one upmanship that comes with it. Eerr maybe it is about being waspish and mean to your own friend.
It is true that there is a bit of one upmanship here and there in every relationship but then it all is in the spirit of the friendship. I get along very well with both the sexes. And most of the people are beautiful. The guys as much fun as the gurls. But then invariably there is that one soul who is bent on putting you down. Depending upon the sex of the person, brutally if it a guy and gently if it’s a gurl, but down nonetheless. And it can't be denied that women are born with a highly honed sixth sense *wink* so when it is the men, it becomes antagonism and with women it becomes subtle games of words and insults. Believe me it does happen.

But then I think what fun without such people. Everything would be goody goody. And we all agree too much sweet is gagging but too much spice is never unwelcome?? They amuse, they engage, they tickle and they irritate. And that is what makes them worthy of a blog post.

And I think after all that analysis done on bitches…ahem…I too am guilty…. *devilish grin*

The Fateful Night...

It’s a story of the time
When life was really a bore
Goodness and laughter littered the world
And life was sweet enough to be sore.

Life of simplicity and rustic
Rare as it was for anything new happening
As birth and death laced the cycle
The village folks for weeks kept chattering.

It wasn’t unnatural, no it wasn’t.
For days to be sweltering and nights to be no bother.
And the people, farmers they were
Worshipped the nature for it was their mother.

Time and days held no significance,
And generations really ran monotone,
When all that mattered was harvesting crop
And picking pebbles and stone.

Superstitions ran rampant.
Beliefs not uncommon.
But they were just stories they said, they admired
Over the years told by their gramps beside the fire.

The old and the wise looked on night,
At the sky that told them their future they pondered,
Was it the time really that,
The legend was to come true they wondered.

The stars were unnaturally bright
And the trees swayed wild.
And it was a rage on the land
And the sea could swallow a thousand and one child.

Yes it was time said the elders
To the mirth and amusement of the youth.
Stories told so long ago,
Indeed had a grain of truth.

It is a myth not a lore they said.
We are evolved now father.
Besides we live our lives modern now,
Enough to let the fact not be a bother.

But bother it should have, for the nature moved
With the finality that it disarmingly hurled
When it wrote of Armageddon
And the end of the world.

And it was the night that was decided
By those who controlled the natures flow.
For destiny needed it as much as mankind,
To bring humanity a huge blow.

The stars were unnaturally bright
And the trees swayed wild.
And it was a rage on the land
And the sea could swallow a thousand and one child.

Finally the earth settled, to a deadly silence.
The fateful night that eons would mourn.
And it was the night,
That people had denied existed,
The night when the devil was born.

Academia!!!!

There is something about examinations and da stress that makes one do everything except study. I mean its jus one month left for the finals and all of a sudden, there is an insatiable urge to cram in every activity that you’ve needed to do in that academic year in that one month before the exam date. Im talking bout waking up at 2 to play the harmonium n practice singing, making candles, watching movies bak to back and da choice….psycho 1 n 2, Urban Legend, Terminator 1 2 and 3…don’t wanna go into that now, painting one wall of the room with harappan drawings like that in the film PREM starrign Tabu and Sanjay Kapoor, the Aati Nahi song. If you’ll dono wat im talking bout, then it is a major loss for all the bollywood lovers. That movie is a winner. *wink*id been to see Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and they were showing Prem. I watched that instead. Trust me I don’t regret it:P then reading Harry Potter and his escapades, dig out old phone numbers of friends who are not in touch…

Final semester exams frm the 25th of April. And does Shipraji have the timetable?? Nope. For that matter noone else does too, other than the fact that the first testing is to be done on the entrepreneurial skills…
So here it goes…good old class one istyle.
Date Day Subject Time
25/4/2005 Monday Entrepreneurship 3.00-5.00
26/4/2005 Tuesday Quantitative Analysis 3.00-5.00
and Statistics
27/4/2005 Wednesday Call up anna and ask
Okie so no timetable, so no study planning, theek hai, not all that bad!! But then do u have all da notes. Ummm…weelllll….*sheepish* when do u plan to have em?? Errrrr….ill go 2 coll sumday, ask sum1 to get em and photocopy em. N now shut up u conscience, im on a 2 day chutti from studying so don’t prick me!!!

But then I think when I don’t study, there is something or the other that happens. Like the ant biting my left eye, being down with bad tummy. Im my best when im not in motion. Bowels or otherwise. Papa decided Paani puri wud do sum good. It did. My stomach was stable but then it was my nose running. Snorting and paper towels. I don’t see why people around have to make a face when you blow your nose. I bet everyone does it when they think they r not being heard or seen. Now I wud love to go into detailed description of exactly how the entire process goes but then I think everyone knows, so ill jus stuff it.

But jokes apart. I think, exams, marks, internal assessment, sucking up to the co ordinator…they don’t really matter when we look at the big picture. I mean there is like a big bad world out there right. And it doesn’t really look at ur marks before ripping you apart do they?? So when you are gonna get fuckd anyways, why not have fun in the process, is what I have to say.
Mom: well if it really doesn’t matter, then y do they have marks on the resume??
Me: because that’s all the losers have to show for their life’s achievement!! That’s y.
Mom: ur crap again
Me: now look, y wud u wanna show ur SSC ka marks, when u have ur graduation marks already. So unless uve skippd a yr or sumthing, u obviously have passed ur secondary and higher secondary exams. *smirks at the superior display of intellect*
Mom: go study!!!!
Me: so it means that you showing ur marks jus because ur 10th was the only exam u scored real neat marks…blah blah blah…..

Aah I was talking bout the big picture. I AM an evolved human being. And such mundane things like exams n all, they don’t really matter to my higher state of living. I am beyond the moh maya of marks, aakhir marks kya hai?? Materialism hai!! Not like I take my marksheet when I reach nirvana. I take my spirit, my soul, my inner core, which does not have brain, which does not follow logic. Which fails to understand such harsh competition where your own classmates don’t give you their notes to copy or photocopy in the fear that you get better grades than they do. Bah. Guile and cheating wont take you far @ %$#^& (name withheld for author’s safety) good deed done today will demand another tomorrow.

I mean what losers!! Attending classes every single day *belch* copy copious amounts of notes…scribble like crazy. Beam at the professor when he calls out ur name for attendance. Beam otherwise too. Laugh at some dumb joke crackd by an oily sleazy professor who winks at u for every second line he says. Bitch bout a professor to another. Religiously lick the co ordinators ass, just so that he (luckily) remembers you when he is allotting marks outta da blue in the final week of exams.
A conversation with a fellow classmate, who is like a real bitch.
P@_@L : this is not fair!!!! U study jus a week before the exams, and you score ** and I study like two TWO whole months and I score jus 5 % more than you do.
Me: aah well…*smiles*

Now in fornt o her boyfriend who doesn’t wish to study sitting in the library but she drags him and makes him sit with her. Lol

P@_@L : this is not fair!!!! You kno (her boyfriend) ship studies jus a week before the exams, and she scores ** and I study for like two TWO whole months and I score jus 5 % more than she does. Not fair naa!!!! U also like that only…both of u.
*now this aint done lady, this aint done by a long shot!! U say that 2 me, its okie, u say that in front o ur guy, who happens to be a better friend than U are….nope, not done AT ALL* so what happens?? The bitchiness in shipra comes rears its pretty head.
Me: well, you see P@_@l, u kno studying doesn’t come easy to you. So your insecurity translates into frantic preps eons before exams. N moi *chilld out voice* I kno I can study and score well. I don’t really even need to prove it 2 anybody!!! Its like when you have something, you don’t have da urge to go search for it, capture it for yourself. You are confident in the fact that you can get it if u want to, but since u don’t wanna…y bother at al.
Lol, poor soul, but then she was asking for it. And when someone asks, thou shall not refuse says amma.
And wont amma be proud of her grand daughter now!!


So that’s that now. And I plan to dedicate the nxt two weeks to sincere studying. I mean these are the finals. The culmination of not just my year but my 15 years of education.
My last attempt at redeeming myself in front of my mommy, setting an example of being the eldest in the family and passing out wid ahem flying colours. showing p@_@l da stuff im made of. Making papa proud. And plain having sum geeky marks in my resume. So that I too can show I have no life outside books. Hehe.*wink*

Psst psst: me off blogging for a while. But wish me bestest o luck people. I really need it this time. More than ever!!!!!!
N now its Misty who brings her blog down...i jus dont get it!!!!*shakes head*

Nothing Really...

Got bit by an Ant yesterday. So didn’t study. Didn’t complete the assignment problems but they were not asked to be submitted. Good thing I didn’t bother. Its still swollen. The bite. On the left eye, that I failed to mention. When I was asleep!!! Papa thinks it must be some poisonous insect. I think im better off thinking of it as a Red Ant.
Its said red ants are edible n good for your eyes. Yah rite. Good for my eye, it wont open completely- My Eye!!! Something alone the lines of carrots. Orange, orange…see da connection?? One has a black top; the other has a black bottom.

______

Got another stupid forward. But infact this isn’t a stupid steeuuupeed forward. It talked about what animal you are based on your birthday. And I am a monkey it says. Umm no not da animal but the attributes.
This is what it has to say:
If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
Im sooo darned tempted to defend myself. Aah what da heck I will. THIS IS MY SPACE!!
So I rattle: Impatient and hyper?? Guilty as charged.
But yes I am simple at heart. And who doesn’t like being a center o attention?? aah its attraction. Now that …umm…well….attention yes. Attraction…err wtf YES THAT TOO!!!!
Unique-DIG THAT!!!!!!*smug look* but that way??i wonder…
Sixth sense. Yeah true.
And which fool doesn’t like money tell me?? *defensive*

______

Learnt two new words last week. Look forward to using it in context as much as I can.
Dick Chick
Meaning: fantabulous
Pronunciation: jus as its written. Some times even “dHick Chick”
Usage: “oh yeh toh dhik chick plan hai be”, “dhik chick mazza aaya” etc etc.
Language: its free for all typesa lingos. But for excellent results to be used in Hindi.

Chance Pe Dance
Meaning: no no not dancing on every chance you get, but actually seizing the opportunity when it strikes.
Pronunciation: Precisely as it is written.
Usage: “When papa asks you if u need money, then chance pe dance marneka”- this will be a more sober usage of the phrase.
“Going on a date toh, chance pe dance” is the actual usage. But since the author neither goes on dates nor is allowed to use such sentence construction (semantics or connotation) at home or otherwise, she resorts to a more subdued former sentence types.

And hereby as I was telling divs, da divine thoughts lady that it is an each one (word) teach one (lessons in language) scene. Mom glares everytime I use either one in a sentence. Difficult but I manage.
Yet to test it in a regular normal world but im positive about the outcome.
There is more from where it comes.

What say people?? Liked it??*wink*

Psst Psst: this might be one of my shortest posts since sometime now. *blushing prettily at feat accomplished* I thought id let you all know- in case you didn’t realize

The Week That Was...

Like always, important snippets of information that i take for granted, are the ones that are misunderstood by all. The exams mentioned r my preliminary exams and not finals.
Monday- Exam: Entrepreneurship. 8 Am to 10 Am.
Question Paper distribution. Scan through the paper. Damn don’t have a clue wats what. Look around. Others in the same situation. Relief.
8.30 two of the classmates get up. Loo?? I wonder? Together?? My eyebrows raise. No they have the answer booklet in hand. Supervisor says u cant leave da hall within an hour of the commencement of the test. Hehe. They make faces. 15 more minutes of fidgeting and the supervisor has had it. She lets em off. Inspired with what happened, 2 more, gurls this time, leave. “Gosh… this is soo tempting” a fellow classmate.
Me thinks: Those papers r not gonna b corrected. Said my co ordinator. Why bother wasting all the resources?? Imagine how much trees we can save if we conserve the answer booklet for some other poor student But me being a rule abiding student guided by my principles and ideals decide ki NO!! I will finish the 8 paper booklet. Scribble nonsense I will!! But wont let the rest of the 7 pages blank. The first being the details of the students section. So dedicatedly and sincerely not to mention pain stakingly, I finish those 8 lengthy pages.
Its 9 30. Telepathy at work perhaps, purv n me look at each other at da same time. suggest we leave. Rohini, Dharmaraj Yudhistir ki chatti aulaad leaves the hall at 10 sharp.

Tuesday- Qunatitative Business Models aka Statistics 8Am to 10Am.
Me in a much relaxed frame of mind. Received news that professors for sure don’t correct these papers coz internal assessment marks are already submitted to the university.

Question paper given. Scans it. Bah. No clue whats what and this is the subject im supposedly done preparations for. A lil bit of copying AHEM mutual helping and im almost through. It’s a numbers paper. The whole world knows I suck at numbers. I leave at 9. Still 4 students from the class of 60 write ferociously as if their life depended upon it. Have this insane urge to laugh. But then killed that impulse.
Purv left too. So did half the class. Rohini sat thru. Not like she knows all the answers, more like she wanted to give the other 4 company coz they sure sat scribbling till 10. Took additional supplements too. Wasting resources and college funds. *rolling eyes*

Tuesday evening: all attempts at studying jus vanish in thin air poof no profanity jus an expression. jus giving up studying. Not a word is known for the next paper. And worse is no concern either.

Wednesday: Marketing Research 8Am to 10 Am(I dono y im posting the time. Heck.)
7 Am. Mumbai Local
frantically going thru sum photocopied notes. Almost doze off. But then lady sitting beside gives a discreet nudge.
7 45 Am Class Room
*hysterical*I have no clue PEOPLEEEEE I don’t know what im gonna write even the first 15 minutesssssssssssssssss*bawling by this time*
Consolations, empathies, hugs and assurances from all and condolences from those fanatic 4. And Im ready to face marketing Research head on.
8 Am
There is a mass giggle. I feel one with the class yet again. No one has a clue. I start scribbling. Hall ticket is being distributed. I tell myself I get this n im not entering the class ever again. Half of the students have not turned up anyways.
8 30 Am
Again the telepathy thing in play. Purv is getting restless. She wants to leave. But I know some stuff and wanna stick 2 my funda of somehow filling all 8 pages. Hazy letters in black n white swarm in front o my eyes. I wish id not nodded off in the train, id have remembrd more.
8 35
More frantic glances and fidgeting from purv. Ive had enough. She gets up. I leave my answer halfway. Too much movement and I lose my harmony and peace of writing papers-wink
We leave. A classmate wonders “HOW DID U GUYS LEAVE ITNA JALDI YAAR!!!!??” nothing more to write we say. Simple n true.

Thursday- 7 am: cell rings. Purv. Shit I overslept!!! Missed my exam. Momentary panic. That feeling of stomach dropping down to the knees. Weird how that feels even when you are lying on ur derriere. Then brain processes kick in. Doesn’t really matter. Complacent. Go to sleep again. Wake up when the sun had reached its zenith. Switched on the TV, switched on FB (for ppl who dono, FB is my comp-Frozen Beauty who is on her deathbed.) logged on to the net.
AND WHAT DO I SEEEEE???? HORROR OF HORRORS!!!!!
MY NET DOESN’T WORK!!!! It was sooo down, im talking 1000 bytes in 5 minutes here. Now THAT is low…even for FB it is!! I shrugged. Happens sumtimes. Turnd her off. No pun
went to take a shower. Came back masala tea coutesy Seema. Decided since ive missed half a day, might as well spend da entire day rejuvenate for further exam preparations.
Then turned FB on. (psst- I love that sentence!!!) loggd on to the net. Damn still nets down. Now I was queasy. I mean at the risk of tarnishing my oh-so-sexy image, my life by large revolves around FB and Internet. Im not saying I have no life, I do. Its jus that the world wide web features largely in it.

Watched some movies, caught up on kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.(he he cudnt resist that line!! Its soo nani type!!!!) Hogged... Went to sleep.
Woke up, maa was home. Oh if I didn’t mention, im an independent daughter of a working mother. *smug look*
Didn’t dare touch FB in front of her. Watched some more movies. Dinner time.
Again a vain attempt at net. Nope. Not ok yet.
Decided not to go the nxt day too. Was econometrics. The only thing in it I know is that it has one of the longest word I kno, homoscadasticity. Even oxford doesn’t have it in their word list. So im not responsible if I make a spelling mistake here. The other longest word I know is antidisestablishmentarianism. *display of high literary knowledge* : P
Spent the rest of the three days in almost the same fashion.

Psst Psst: even when,my net works...like now, people on messenger wont talk. Coz im supps to study. sigh.Now gonna go watch sum movie.

Talks OF Mind Bending The Spoon...

So there is this blatently good news that I have!!! And I cant seem to sit still coz o that. Some of you may say, pooh its just a cell phone. But for someone, like me, who takes pleasures in da small small things in life, cell phone, or any sorta communication device features big in the pleasure-giving-things list.

I lost my cell phone da other day. A forthnite ago actually. All my precious numbers, data, mail ids, reminders, alarm…all gone!!
Just like that. One moment it was there, the next it wasn’t. Like Houdini. And then people asked me the most obvious thing…HOW?? WHERE.?? Now now people, if I just knew how and where and not to mention the good old when…I wouldn’t lose it in the first place would I??
That what this one is all bout. Me trying to dig deep into the recesses of my brain and my heart and my mind and see, if what some say is really true and that the mind is capable of really making something disappear if it like really really wanted to.

I admit ive wanted a new cell phone since sometime now. And it aint like my existing or the one that existed was anything wrong with it. Just that I wanted a new and a better one. Don’t we all, I ask more to appease my conscience. Ofcourse we do, comes the reply. So here I was. Wanting a new and an improved phone, but no financial or economical independence…or parental for that matter. Not daring to even ask or broach the topic.
I come from a law abiding-parent respecting-disciplined-no-tantrums-no-help-from-maid-while-cleaning-rooms-or-washing-jeans kinda family *wink*

So finally when I lost my cell phone, I was not sure how should I react. I think I was numb. I wasn’t sure how I should react was because I didn’t really feel bad. Nope. But I felt I had to. *WARNING: now here my fundas are a lil screwd up, so no discussion on y I need to feel bad will be entertained* I just had to feel bad. Mayb it is me stereotyping feeling and emotions and that it is necessary that there should be appropriate reaction to an appropriate situation. Maybe like nirupa Roy types. Cry, when tragedy strikes, grin with joy when you find ur lost sons reference :Amar, Akbar, Anthony Proper emotion for proper circumstance. All systematically categorized.
But does Miss Shipra do that?? No she doesn’t. So not feeling even a twinge of sadness or remorse is alarming, or so me thinks. Again refer to the warning in the earlier paragraph.!! And so that was that. No guilt (admitted I couldn’t do anything, but its like those situations where you think on retrospect if it would have worked had you been a little more careful or studied a lil bit harder), no remorse or no standard response of crying like the other gurl in class did when she lost her cell phone. I was curiously detached. And silent as a dead mouse. That in itself was enough to arouse the curiosity of the entire class.

Dreading maybe, to come home. Pappa is chilled guy. He knows if its gone, its gone. Why fret. But my mom!!! Well lets just say she is more verbal when it comes to emoting. But then that day, even aye was silent on the issue. Resigned and accepting I guess. But do I dare ask for a new cell phone??

Almost a week passed. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I jus HAD TO ask.
Me: umm…ayee…..i was wondering….
Maa: hmm wondering what exactly? *wary look*
Me: now that I lost my cell phone…it really is kinda difficult u kno….
Maa: No, I cant imagine why? Ive been doing perfectly well without it till date.
Me: well yes ofcourse…but I was wondering…you wouldn’t really get me another one…err..would u??*hope filled eyes*
Maa: earn. *eh?* earn and buy your own.

In all this pappa is a silent spectator. The fact that papa didn’t say anything, is signal enough for the super smart shipra (notice the use of alliteration and how beautiful it sounds in the same sentence-err super sexy would also apply but it would be outta the context) to know that all will be well and that all is not lost yet. reference :the Alchemist Its all about reading the signs along the way.

And finally!!! Today when my sis got a newer model, I was sitting mumbling that it wasn’t really my fault that I lost it and that somethings are really beyond a persons control, papa decided he will get me a cell phone.
YEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!
Trust me when I say this, it was really a very tough job not to get up and hug every body and dance like crazy and howl and shout “MY PAPA BESTEST” but it was the silent glare of a defeated mom that made me resist the urge. And so I had to settle for a grateful grin. I can really imagine how rocky-my dog feels like when he is given ice cream, grateful enough for the tongue to lol from side to side. Ofcourse he drools in the plate and I again resisted the urge, when we went to the mobile phones and accessories show room.

Now that’s the latest news. Soon I will have a new cell phone.
Reminds me of the adage, “When you want something real bad, the whole universe conspires for you to get it”

*wink*and yeah, now I think we can REALLY bend spoons with the power of our minds, or plain longings and unfulfilled desires.

Psst Psst: One of my fav bloggers, Man with no Name is thinking and talking of bringing the blog down!!! And im in denial!!!!!

A Dollop Of Cold Cream

The below mentioned is a SHORT STORY!!! n yeah i need no more instance to show that im not meant for it. But then ive written it, so anyways...thats that.N so the winter :P


*a dollop of cold cream on the palm* Its winter again. Im not sure if I like winters. No matter how much moisturizers and cold cream you apply, it just isn’t enough to make your skin elastic and supple. Never mind what ads on TV say. Winters make ur skin flaky and dry. Scaly. Reminds me of the fish we had for dinner yesterday. I think its gross, the way maharaj leaves the eyeballs still in the socket of the dead fried fish. Eerie looking a dead fish in its eye, just when you are about to put a chunk of its tender meat into your mouth.
Any which ways...

So a 16 year old should be interested in moisturizers, anti-frizz ( I have curly hair), lip balms which come with shimmer, Bath gels that smell divine…so I really shouldn’t have guilty conscious. Admitted im a pampered brat. Always want my whims satisfied and take great pains to see that they do. But then almost evey 16 year I kno is like that!!! *pouting* Some people offer to psychoanalyse me and my behaviour. They want to know why I behave like a rebel. Know and offer sympathy. Understanding. Show superior state of their living. Pooh!!! Too bad my nani’s sister doesn’t think im angelic. She would have hysteria if she knew what some of my friends are up to.. I wonder why then she gives me that look and tells nani that maa could have been more careful. Bah, her grand son is just 12...u just wait and watch amma!!!*evil grin*

I don’t dope, I don’t smoke and I booze only when thr is some social thingy happening. Or if there is beer. So all in all I really am a very good gurl. And since it is very normal for a 20 year old to indulge in materialistic things, no issues there too.
*zoom bak to winters and cold creams* I really like the smell of this one. And same smelling shampoo and liquid soap not to mention deo. So when im done, there is this beautiful floral feminine fragrance all around me. am I being shallow?? It gags my best friend. Lol, obviously, floral scents aren’t suppose to charm 16 year old guys, especially not when they are oozing out from every square inch of their best friends. He is kinda cute, when he thinks he is being tough and uncaring. Thinks I don’t notice. Thinks I don’t recognize that sadness when he looks at me. That love and that concern. So quickly evapourated and distilled into pity. Or maybe so I think.

And that mightily pisses me off. I don’t want love and concern. Or pity!!! Sympathy. Or maybe im jus hopelessly rong. But I refuse to see how I, I can be wrong??!!!?? I am normal. Bratty, temperamental 16 year old who just needs direction in life and its kinda late for that.

So then neways, I was saying I don’t like winters. When we are at it, I don’t like summers either. It must be the clothes that make me despise the season. Its just so hot and the only thing u can wear then AND be comfortable is shorts and a cotton tee. I think I look pretty in shorts and tee. *mischievious* you see I have beautiful legs. And I flaunt it. Or I used to. But I don’t wear shorts anymore.

They are disfigured and scarred after last winters accident. My legs. And I cant walk anymore. But I still cream them. My legs. Waiting for the day I can flaunt them again. And love summers again...

But for now...I just don’t like winters...makes my skin flaky and dry. And scaly...like the fish we had for dinner yesterday...

My English Essay Book...

Yesterday was another room cleaning session. And this time my maa decided it has to be my study table. What with term coming to an end and exam fever all around. So when I was clearing the heaps of papers, books, writing tools…one thing never ceases to amaze me is the amount of things that can lay buried. I found some of my drawing books and paper whales and air planes made. No its not like I hadn’t cleared the cabinet since 6th class but id kept it, reminiscence of the fun days (not like im not having fun now, but then the most scary thing that could have happened in life was the Head Mistress writing a note in the skool calender asking my parents to go meet her –which never happened btw)

So I have this special place with all my skool stuff. Like the eraser belonging to my first crush…my paper air plane that stayed air borne for sum 10 seconds…that’s how friendly me n technology can be at the most.…10 seconds...my drawing book, my English Essay Book among other things.

And then I sat going through my writings when I was in 5th Class. And though my vocabulary has improved quiet a bit…my writing style still remains the same. Goofy, inane and pathetic attempt at humour.

And the kind of essays…Im still chuckling. It was the same…again and again and again every single year till we were in class 8. And we wouldn’t even copy the same ol matter. We read me, was a achcha bachcha even bak then :P:P
And I had this really weird crazy habit. Id start off each and every composition of mine with some quote. Most of em would b quotable ones by literary geniuses, some made by me…and then…neeche id write anonymous. Lol till my English teacher said I need not write anon if I made em myself, but just let em be. (COME ON NOW!!! I WAS 10- admitted kids these days are a lot smarter at 10...)

My Mother. Some variation like my grandparents…if the teacher felt like it…
“...I look like her. There is this photo clikd in her childhood, with her holding a doll and there is a picture of me holding a doll in almost the same setting. And we look so similar that it could have been my photo taken in black and white… she is the only one who really understands how I feel like even before I say it. *sigh…those days*
She makes the best rajma chaval in the whole world…. (and the end) I really love my mother and may God bless her. :P

Next came My Hobby.
I love reading. I more than love writing. *lol so u see I more than love writing even now* it is important to have a hobby in life, it gives a person a direction….blah blah blah…
The best part about “My Hobby” is that everyone in da class had their favourite hobby as stamp collection. And you wonder why? Because that was the only composition listed on the hobby in the “Essay Book” present in the library.

A letter to the Head mistress asking for a leave of absence :
Respected Ma’am,
….I am a student of ….blah blah blah…I need a leave of absence for a week so that I can attend my cousin’s wedding. From the second week of august to the last week.
Till date I don’t understand why did we ever have to write a letter to da nun. Not like had I written the letter, she would have granted me “the leave of absence for the same”. Also, I promise that I will more than make up for the classes missed and pass out with flying colours. Yours, sincerely….

A letter to a friend apologizing for returning the class book late. Here again there was some stupid reason why I could return the book and that I was profusely sorry *spelling mistake on the ‘profusely’* for the inconvenience *yep mistake again* caused.

A report for the skool magazine on the open man holes and the nuisance it caused to the residents of the locality during the monsoons.

An autobiography of a coin. Lol, here too some innovative story on how people didn’t like me (the coin) because I wasn’t as shiny and as pretty as the other coins I would jiggle with in the pockets *I still prefer the more shinier ones. These days there r all shiny coins but bak then, the old 1 Re. coin was not as pretty and shiny as the new coin*
And that finally my life is just being passed around. And how I would like a steady and stable life in a piggy bank to forever remain some place permanent *I really wasn’t that good with spellings bak then* but the fact that im money means I have to go around the country being passed from one place to other and one person to the other. And how some people treat money and how dirty I was and that no one ever thought of maybe giving me a wash or something. *God!!!*

A visit to the local market, another letter to a friend telling him/her about your good grades. A report on some community service done...
And so on and so forth...My English Essay Book.

Wishlist : I Need...

I need pain to know I am not numb yet.
I need people to know I am not alone yet
I need colours to know im not blind yet
I need love to know im there yet.

I need rain to know I am cleansed
I need sun to know there exists tomorrow.
I need wind to caress my face,
And the surety of permanence.

I need my own prince charming,
I need impish eared elves,
I need a tower in the exotic lands I dream of
I need a glass slipper to believe yet.

I need that little brook
Where I talk to my butterfly,
And see that there is depth,
But seems so shallow yet.

I need the world at my feet,
Just so that I can tiptoe and say im sensitive
But when my chest fills with arrogance
I need that pinch of the stray thorn.

I need expressions like a lifeline,
I need words to come to my defence,
I need beautifully strung lines,
And I need the meaning to creep in yet.

I need enchantment to know I am not jaded yet
I need impulse to create magic.
I need wonder and shining eyes,
I need to know I can cause that.

I need the memory of a frozen moment,
And the eternity it wraps,
I need faith to survive
I need love to live yet.

Jinxed!!!!!

Im not superstitious.
Only scared of offending the angels.
Just yesterday was telling rohini that life finally is back on track. And that finally im content. And that things r sailing smooth. And its almost magical the way things have ironed out. To now being a smooth raw silk. *how cool is that!! RAW SILK!!! Pat pat on the back ships*

And now look what happened. *frown* life is back to being just the way I like it!!! Tangled in the very own wool I was knitting my sweater with. *nope not as good as RAW SILK. Raw silk was better*

Reminds me of my skooling days. When the worse thing that could happen was the Head Mistress’ signature on the skool calendar asking for a meet with the parents.
Just da change is, the signature thingy has changed to attendance problems and allied discomforts. Now is it my fault that I was born a nocturnal being. N no matter how insomniac I am, I still need a couple o hours o sleep, isn’t it?? Now am I to be blamed if sleep fairy dusts her magic powder at the unearthly hours of the morning. *pouting* And they are cutting internal assessment marks on that. *double pouting*

And then comes tests. Silly really!!! How do professors expect students to study regularly??!!?? *shudders* now I have a test FULL PORTION on marketing. Man I tell you, people who will become teachers can be spotted early in life. They r regular with their studies. How else do one explain such insensitivity of the professors?? No amount of pleading, begging, groveling helped. He (the prof) jus postponed it by 4 days. 4 DAYS??!!! He has no heart in his chest nor blood in his eyes!!! (translation of: aakhon mein khoon nahi or sum shit like that)

And then comes music. Divine, no doubt bout it. But my voice isn’t. at least not 24*7. And who will explain that to my music teacher??
She doesn’t eat ice creams, doesn’t drink fizzy drinks like it is elixir. doesn’t scream to get people to stop talking so that she can talk. She doesn’t scream, howl, cry till her voice turns hoarse. Sing in a soprano voice jus to piss off her friends!! Yakk her way 2 Armageddon. BAH she has no life!!! yeah!! That’s it!!!!! *enlightment* Her sole aim in life is to make people sing. SING AND PLAY HARMONIUM TILL U’VE DROPPED DEAD!!!
No wonder she makes me drink concoctions of lukewarm water and salt and sugar says it cures bad throat. *gagging* but I like my hoarse voice. I think it sounds sexy *batting eye lashes and blushing*
Ahem she is a real sweet lady but me going wid da flow here. And bitching bout all n sundry. (`so please God, don’t turn my voice into like that of a frogs I have enough problems no thankz to me!!)

Love life or or the absence of it. 20 bloody years of existence and what do I have to show?? Phone book full of numbers of classmates, mates of classmates, people met on the way, chat pals their pals, mom’s friends, their kids, veterinary’s number, class teachers numbers. Class representative’s three numbers. DA PIG doesn’t even give attendance and eats up space on the cell phones memory.
So the phone book is a real handy device. Ive become directory service to my best friend. How convenient. And how inconvenient that his friends are all losers!! Of the first order!!!!

Sister troubles. How many times do I tell her that we share things and that when we fight... we only temporarily segregate our things n then again pool them bak 2gether when we r bak 2 being sisters. What is the point of having a sister, when u cant use her bag when it matches with your outfit?? Doesn’t help any with her being da younger one and more mature...*psst psst: just people’s perception. Whatever makes them think that!!! Wink*

Maa is a different ball game altogether. She reinstates she wants to take horoscope to manglore on her latest visit to our ancestral house. Says, the purohit there can read things real well. My future. Yeah yeah, I precisely know what future she talking bout. All that cousin’s wedding and preparations has swept her away. Im jus 20!!! *bawling*

And friends are no consolation. NOSIR!!! I told purva all this and pat comes the reply.
“write a blog post on it. I have my comment ready already”

So here is to every soul who is hell bent on crushing the never-say-die spirit of a gurl who just wants to live...tangle free and jinx free. *wink*

Public Displays Of Affection

No im not a prude.
Or would like to think so. Umm...I don’t really have strong opinions about public displays of affection. Coz it doesn’t really matter. So I have no issues when it comes to people being openly affectionate, kissing hugging that sorta thing im cool with. Err… when other people are doing it that is.

Agreed have averted my gaze on seeing cooing love birds at juhu chowpatty or at railway stations and bus stands. *urgh!!!*
Now imagine when u have a couple who cant seem to keep their hands off each other and they r sitting right on da front seat. And you have nothing else to amuse urself with but to watch them. (psst psst : id watch em even when I have stuff to do, I think its like the thing. People gawk at you when you are dressed differently n stuff?? No. don’t comment if they don’t to u)

That happened to us during our trip to Goa. Rohini, Purva and me...three hot babes ( no da point is not open for debate) went to Goa november last year. It was a major blast. Sun, sand, sum film festival and tones and tones of fish curry. Too bad we didn’t get to see any hunky studs there. But that’s besides the point.

Back to the affection part. The Volvo was late, it was scheduled for 9 in the night . And maybe it was the marriage season or something coz the Volvo was full o couples. We three and two more were the only people traveling without the significant other. So there was a lot of action
And there was this newly married couple (frm da way they were giggling) seated in front of us. Newly married how?? They couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. So how NEWLY?? Hehe coz they were giggling. *Display of superior logical sense by Ships*
Man it was oh so hilarious…

Zoom back to the couple in front. It was November and the Volvo was air conditioned…wasn’t that hot I suppose. But this couple obviously were very hot (no pun). They were making out under the blanket. And every two minutes the blanket would be thrown open…lol breath of fresh air im guessing.
Purva and me cudnt help giggling. And since we couldn’t giggle loudly, we ended up sniggering. Rohini on the other hand was half asleep. Keeping her outta what was blatant fun would be cheating our closest friend. We woke her up. Lol. God alone knows which world she was in, she instead of being amused was staring intently at the couple, maybe trying to make out (no pun again) what precisely was going on. That put purva n me in another fit of laughter.

Man was it difficult to keep it low. Both us and the couple in da front. And that wasn’t all. When the vehicle stopped for some refreshments…all this happening at two in the night, the lady grinned at us. WE...grinned right back.
Well that was like one really hilarious episode. Which just added a sparkling beginning to a memorable trip.

But then what made me think really, was when da visit to aurangabad happened. *oh I need to write Revelations II*
Classmates turned couple. Hehe. It was kinda…I dono I felt very weird in their company. It was like they were flaunting. The caresses and the hugs didn’t seem natural, more like staged. So alright we understand that it has been only two weeks since both of you admitted to each other the koochi cooing feelings you both have, but why do you need to do da cooing in front of us?? Or show how much you know each other.
“shipra, we have a relationship where we don’t believe in showing that we are a couple, infact we both try and maintain a distance consciously. U know him naa. So... *ehhh??*

“u kno ship, HE is such a nice guy... when we are talking on the phone late at nights, I suddenly fall asleep and he gets so wild. But he still calls me the next day.”
*ROTFLMAO*
all the while they r holding each others fingers or I don’t even know how to describe it…touching each others fingers wid jus one finger. Man...such are people in love.

Then there was this scene when we got down from the bus and saw da guy kissing the gurl’s neck. Lol! right in the middle of a buzy road. What was more amusing was that maybe they didn’t notice but our professors were on the other side waiting to cross the road.
Hehe
We didn’t wait to see what happened next. I admit I was too embarrassed to see if he was really kissing her neck or... I now, would love to imagine variations in the ending...aah missed opportunities!!
Everyone would whisper. Even those gurls who feign distaste or disinterest. And that led to an extensive and urgent single-gurls-meet. Where we bitched bout one and all...talked about how disgusted we are with such improper behaviour and that such people have no shame!!! :-P ;-) A friend even had her mouth agape. Name withheld for author’s safety.

A lot happened actually in da visit to aurangabad. Like there was this another couple who were making out in da train. Ohh yeah. Not that I saw it, *darn* but we all saw da hickey on da guy’s neck and God alone knows where else. Yes we talked about the love bite too in the sisterhood-convention *wink* And during the bus journeys the gurl would sit on the guy’s lap. Not due to lack of seats… Again the finger thing happening.

*amused*

In all this I was paying rapt attention…don’t ask me why…coz I don’t wanna lie.

A Matter Of Choice? Really??

Purv, the eternal optimist wrote a beautiful piece on making a choice. On how you decide what you wanna do. But she spoilt it for me by telling bout the creation of the poem. So now I am biased about it. And maybe, just maybe I don’t even like it.
I choose??!!??

Choices. Not really talking about the mauve one or the green one, whether to style my hair or not, clean da room today or wait for Seema...but the more bigger ones, the ones that make u look back and say, Im glad I chose that or during the less fortunate times regret da decision?

Ive always believed that no matter what choice you make, eventually you get what you are bound to get.
And no im not calling it Fate and shrugging off responsibility. It is about evolution. About being worthy of getting what ultimately you get. About grooming. To accept the inevitable, good or bad, is predestined. But relatively how much of both is what you choose. Because you get. You oh soo get what you deserve.

The Theory:
In Life. When you are grown up enough and your maa thinks so too, enough to let u make your own decision, there are always two choices. Not mandatory. But more often. Not the right or the wrong one. I don’t think there really is absolute right or a wrong. But two different choices which have life altering consequences. Or so it seems at that moment.

It is like a matrix I think. Or just a criss cross of paths, having the same end. Like da game where we choose the rite path for the rabbit to reach the carrot or something. Only here all the paths invariably lead to the carrot.

Choose ‘A’ and go on. To the next decision moment. Which is more often than not a result of chosing ‘A’. Choose ‘A’ again. Or whichever you choose. Then further, you choose ‘B’ and so in life you go on making choices, decisions, picking, preferring… creating more options and more alternatives merely by the choice you make in the previous situation.

But I think, had I chosen 'B'as my first decision, which again lead to two more choices, rather repercussions of my decision, the next set of choices again ‘A’ or ‘B’ leading to more picking and fretting eventually takes me, at some point which is the same as when I chose ‘A’ initially and went ahead.

So eventually, whatever way I choose, I in the end am getting precisely what I am suppose to get. I don’t believe in chitragupt.
So then is it fate all the way? Umm...I don’t know.
So am I saying we are not really responsible for what happens in our lives??

No. We are responsible for the next set of choices, for the responsibilities and the reactions. Ours and others. But all lead to something. And that something is I say predestined.

And how we take what is at the end of the journey is what our choices have shaped us up to be. Accepting, rebelling, regret, joy...

What we get is not altered, but how much we value it, definitely is.

FB is dying.

FB, Frozen Beauty is dying. Almost on her death bed.

should have recognized the signs early on. Her wheezing and sneezing. Her constant freezing. And i thought she was down with cold or something. She is aligned along the window and it gets real cold. But then the visits got frequent. My compwala's. First it was every 6 months, then it was every couple o months, then we decided to get babe. More on history bout babe n FB's rivalry here. Well, even then FB held her own.

i guess the competition is too much for her these days. But then no one compares em these days. Its like owning children, two of em. No comparison. Each one is beautiful in her own right. But then with FB, im partial. Right from when babe was brought. After all, FB lives with me, in my own room, sharing my joy, my happiness, my days, my memories...everything.

*SIGH*
So i was talking bout her symptoms of illness. Being slow. Everyone attributed it to her old age. Like i said in da earlier post, she is SIX years old. Seven Running now. Then my tech savvy friends offered help and suggestions and tips on how to make her work faster and all. Did work for some days i admit. Then started the freezing phase. That is how FB came into being. The name. Till then babe wasnt in the picture. Then more freezing, more driver failures, more headaches, more phonecalls to the compwala....

Then babe happened. Then rest as they say is history.

Even then i was loyal to FB. I had made my decision, my choice. FB loyalty does count for sumthing. These days, its getting worse. Was getting worse rather. Alarm set in when one day when i turned her on and then did some work in word, loggd on to the net, realising some of the applications like the yahoo, wares, time n date stuff didnt load. Umm it wasnt as alarming really but more like a realisation to what was happening. Was kaam chalau. Wasnt so scary.

The day before, she started in Safe mode. Me thought, it was one of the normal recurring phenomenon. Didnt think much about it. Did what was the required process and then rebooted.
AGAIN SAFE MODE.
TRING TRING!!!!! Alarm ringing loud and clear.

Some intructions..
*not so calm anymore*
Read em in haste...maybe even followed em.
REBOOT
SAFE MODE
*panic*
try the rite clik and da properties, NOTHING...try the control panel shit. *so I DO KNOW about computers unlike purv...whos a techietard*
NOTHING

calls to Compwala, cell outta reach. *cussing...dissing*

REBOOT
log on to the net. frantically talking to all the so called tech guys *rolling eyes*
" mayb ur fan's bummed" "try rebooting again...press the F8 key all the while, select the first option when it comes" "did u try kicking her??" "me charging u 100 buck each word i utter"
*shrug* fate. screw em all. Doing stuff in 640 x sum resolution. 16 colour bit shit.

Yesterday finally got through the stupid compguy. He came over Ghar pe aaj.
Said the video driver "udd gaya hai"
*eyes widen*
"nahi nahi, it wont cost u anything"
like me gonna give u a single paise. BAH

Hes taken her to format her now.

Psst Psst: i dont think she is gonna survive the latest onslaught. Admitted have babe. But she aint like FB. If she dies, people, me mourning her death and gonna not blog for a week as a mark of my respect for her. And that folks... is sayin something.

Thinking Of You

Damn u, damn u to hell and back. For being strong. For being indifferent. For moving on. For living life. For taking a second chance and a third and a fourth till you find her, ur true love yet again.
When im stuck. Unresolved. Undecided. Vulnerable and hurt. Scared.

No. I don’t think of you. But thoughts creep in. when I least expect it. And when I push them away, dreams weave a story. Or is it nightmare. U, I suppose will never realize. It is just an obsession. That we are not together anymore. Maybe I would have gotten over you had we still been friends. But talking to you was suffocating. It was getting claustrophobic. I was feeling closed, caged. Frustrated.

Me thinks me moving on. I think less of you these days. It’s a conscious effort. A premeditated decision. Pushing back the thoughts, the words, the images when they surface. Brutally crushing down the pain. Mercilessly stopping the tears. Forgetting you. And the fact that you exist. So a stray tear run down unchecked.

You decided I needed to get acquainted with what is music. With what makes a song. Never did u ever realize…I cared not so much about the music as much for you. Seeing you so passionate, so animated. Your voice actually enthusiastic till I would start giggling with delight at such innocence. Your eyes twinkling like the million starts I would be gazing at and then when you would be annoyed that I wasn’t listening to you, that sparkle fading into a dull sober glint. Toned down. But still there.

You were always different. Special. Singular. And that drive…the palpable energy. The one that would sweep away with it into the world where everything was perfect. Perfect for you. And a hundred faceless beings clapping. Giving you a standing ovation. And my heart…bursting with pride. My face growing with that silly grin and my soundless voice…screaming, breathless, excited.

Stories about how you will conquer the world. You doing what you always wanted to do. Doing what maybe you were destined to do. Stories, dreams, thoughts, fantasies all woven in Technicolor glory. So that the dreams look larger than life. You look larger than life. Stories, dreams, thoughts, fantasies…you.

I miss you sometimes. And your stories. And your passion. Your crazy techniques of wooing a gurl. And philosophies to make people feel nice. And that selfishness which is in every cell of your body. Your f!@#%^& self centered nature. Childlike simplicity. Adult pains. A bundle of paradoxes. Your whine. Your ecstasy.

I will move on. Will just take a little more time. And look back and smile that you happened. And praying…that never do u happen again. Ever.

Revelation I

Having fun when u are with ur best pals and good friends and likable acquaintance is a no brainer…but reaching into urself as well as the place you are in, so much that you are almost physically drained when its over is something atleast I have never experienced until now. Until this trip happened.

The factory visits happened. Informative they were. Insightful.

But the sights, the smell, the taste (distaste rather) of the place, the people, the things is what made a profound impact. Places that were created from rocks, mountains, homage paid to the queen, the fort…awe inspiring.

Revelation

Reaching Ellora Caves, we were given an hour to go round the place and be back. We thought of hiring a guide to show us the caves, the history, the myths and the stories.

But I am glad we didn’t. We decided to go see the niches and the temple by ourselves. It was O-V-E-R-Whelming. A mind blowing experience. The carvings, the sculpture. The sheer beauty of the huge figures, the splendor of the hands and the imagination. The craftsmanship which died centuries ago, the touch, the feel, the sense of the rocks, the stones. The mythology, Nataraja, Kali…the caves!!

It was like being in a time wrap. It was being there yet detached with the noise and the excitement. There was serenity, purity. An almost holistic sense. It WAS awesome. Running fingertips over the statues gave flashes. Overworking imagination. Ours. But for sometime im soo sure I felt how it must have been done. When there was no sense o architecture, im guessing, no floor plans either. Creating a space from one huge boulder, a rock. And then with such perfection.

The beliefs, the hopes, the devotion all culminating into something which transcends people, eras, time. Maybe the sculptors, the craftsmen, the architects have died and born again. Revisited what they created eons ago. Had a sense of déjà vu. Instinctively known and seen the chisels, the torches, the bruises on the hands, the occasional death of a mate. Spanning 5 centuries, says the board outside the entrance. Building the structure and yet not complete. Almost in ruins. But the ruins is what makes it romantic. Broad shouldered men, tiny waisted women, cherubic looking children, Vishnu’s avatar as Padhmanabha, Shiva’s cosmic dance. Youth, desire, fatherhood, sculptures, eras, stones.

Yes it was beautiful.

Psst: thr’s more but I am tired to put it up now. Maybe there will be revelation II or maybe thr wont.

Still trying to get mah bearings...

Bone Tired

Had been to aurangabad, for a week. Industrial visit says the form that needed to be signed by a parent or a guardian. Ends up more like a picnic

We DID go to Garware Polyesters and Videocon for a visit.

Then some sightseeing, Daulatabad Fort, Ellora Caves, Bibi ka Makhbara and some crappy invention by sum local on using water to grind wheat *speechless*

Things were fine, have a presentation today and dead tired. sleep deprived.

More on da trip when i regain my sanity.